prom dress essay

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By MARY ELLEN MARK

• March 30, 2012

THE prom is a rite of passage that has always been one of the most important rituals of American youth. It is a day in our lives that we never forget — a day full of hopes and dreams.

I’ve kept several photographs from my high school days, including some from my time as a cheerleader, but the image that has intrigued me the most is my own prom picture. There I am, my hair in a perfect pageboy, wearing pearls and high heels. I’m in a beautiful white dress with pink flowers. I have a corsage and a gold bracelet on my wrist. Behind me is Stuart, my prom date. He was not my boyfriend, just a good friend. He has a white jacket and a perfect little bow tie. (He ended up marrying one of my best friends from high school.) Both of us have big, hopeful smiles. We were facing our perfect futures. The world was ours — or so we thought.

Over the years, beginning in 1986,   I photographed several proms around America in a documentary style of photography using medium-format and 35-millimeter cameras. I was fascinated by how the dress and behavior of the promgoers reflected their cultural differences.

For example, at a prom for Peabody High School in Pittsburgh, middle-class white girls bought their dresses at a local department store, while the African-American girls had their gowns custom-made. Their gowns were unique, while the store-bought dresses were alike.

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Seventeen years ago, I started working with a Polaroid 20-by-24-inch Land camera. The camera is very large — about 6 feet tall, weighing 240 pounds. There are only five in the world. The camera needs a specially qualified technician to operate it since it’s quite complicated and takes great skill to move it, manipulate the bellows for changes in magnification, adjust the lens and load and process the chemistry and the paper. With a 20-by-24 camera, you are taking a picture and making a print at the same time.

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The Experience Of Junior and High School Prom

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Column: Write an essay about ‘giving back’ and you’ll get a prom dress, the teacher said

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At lunchtime, the seniors — 11 girls — filtered into the classroom at the Humanity and Arts Academy of Los Angeles, an autonomous school on the campus of Narbonne High School in Harbor City. They wore typical high school clothing: sweatshirts and leggings, T-shirts and ripped jeans.

The back of the classroom, in one of those portable buildings that never move, had been turned into a dress store; long gowns and minis hung against the wall. Next to that, a table with shoes and jewelry.

The girls eyed the merchandise, silently making their picks.

Soon, they would disappear into the empty classroom next door, which had been turned into a dressing room, and reappear in astonishingly pretty prom dresses, some even teetering in impossibly high heels.

“I’ve been waiting for prom since I was 4 years old!” said Nia Burton, who plans to attend Texas Southern University next year.

The dress giveaway was their reward for entering an essay contest organized by 11th-grade English teacher Pattianna Harootian, an intense former competitive boxer, who does not ever seem to stop moving, or talking, or giving directions. (“I am kind of controlling,” she told me. “Don’t write that down.”)

Each of the girls, who had already struggled to come up with $130 for their prom tickets, had produced 500 words on the topic: “How I give back.”

“I’m all about teaching my kids to be charitable,” Harootian said. Boxing had given her incredible confidence, she said, so after she left the ring, she founded a charity called Knock Outs for Girls. She wanted to teach girls to box, to remind them of their own strength, and to encourage them to empower themselves by doing good things for other people. (She also organizes an annual toy drive for the children at Hillsides, a children’s home in Pasadena. One year, she told me, one of the children there asked for a toothbrush.)

She organized her first prom dress giveaway last year. All the items — dresses, shoes and jewelry — were donated by friends and colleagues.

Harootian plucked a maroon halter dress off the rack. “I don’t know,” she said, frowning. “This one might be too sexy.”

Naturally, it was among the first to go.

Reading through the girls’ essays, I was struck by their kindness, humility and optimism.

Tiffani Cadogan’s mother, Theresa, died of breast cancer in 2015. Tiffani took her mother to many of her doctor appointments, and cared for her until the end. “Despite what she went through,” Tiffani wrote, “she still managed to help others and I decided to follow in her footsteps.”

This summer, Tiffani will volunteer at Children’s Hospital. “There are so many who just need support and unconditional love,” she wrote. “My ultimate goal in life is to spread love.”

Nia Burton wrote that she recently got a job to help her family. “My parents have a lot of bills and senior year is a big extra expense,” she wrote. She didn’t find a dress she liked, but got a nice pair of hoop earrings, and Harootian is already putting out the word to her friends that she needs a few more dresses.

Ymani Jackson wrote about waking up every morning at 4:30 to get her siblings ready for school: “I have to make sure they have food in their system so they won’t be hungry.” After school, she coaches girls at the Inglewood Cheer and Dance Palace and takes them to competitions.

Audrey Zavala has been feeding homeless people on skid row since she was little, she wrote. “Doing so made me realize it’s important to get out of your comfort zone and help other people as much as possible.”

One girl described a bad family situation. Her mother always told her to “be the light in such a dim world.” “I know how it feels to lose hope,” she wrote. “Girls need to know that they are beautiful and they are worth finding, worth knowing, worth loving. Sometimes you need to forget what you feel and remember what you deserve.”

Chioma Nzeogu won the essay contest, which meant she got first pick of the dresses and shoes.

Chioma is 6 feet 1, and plays power forward and center on the Narbonne basketball team. She is hoping to study culinary arts, first at Harbor Community College, then maybe at a four-year college in Oregon.

Lately, she told me, her family has hit a rough patch.

She and her mother lost their Lomita home, and had to move in with her older sister in Buena Park, about 25 miles away from school. Eventually, they were able to move into her grandmother’s house in Compton, which is only 12 miles away. The house has three bedrooms, but is cramped.

“There’s already a lot of people staying at my granny’s,” she said. “My uncle and aunties.”

She gives back, she wrote, by teaching her nieces and nephews the things she’s learned from her basketball coaches, so they can excel at the game as she has. “I also make sure kids know right from wrong, and make them feel as though whatever they do and say is important, because it is.”

I asked her about the left lens of her tortoiseshell glasses, which was mended with white tape.

“A couple weeks ago, my teammate was coming in for a layup when she bumped into me,” Chioma said. “I fell and my glasses broke.”

She can’t afford new glasses yet — her mom is unemployed — but burst out laughing when I asked if she planned to wear the broken ones to prom. “No!” she said. “I have contacts, but I don’t like them. They make my eyes feel weird.”

On May 24, the prom is scheduled to take place at The Reef, a waterfront restaurant in Long Beach about 12 miles southeast of the school campus.

Chioma said she wasn’t sure how she would get there, but was thinking she might be able to pool her money with some friends for a limo ride.

It’s not clear where they’ll get the $500 limo fee, but these young women are not short on hope.

However Chioma gets to the prom, she’ll look beautiful in her pick: a short, fitted tank dress, in a blue ombré pattern.

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Twitter: @ AbcarianLAT

Robin Abcarian is an opinion columnist at the Los Angeles Times. She writes about news, politics and culture. Her columns appear on Wednesday and Sunday. Twitter: @AbcarianLAT

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General Contest Info

After more than two decades, Duck® Brand has made some exciting changes to the 2024 Stuck at Prom® Scholarship Contest. From new judging categories to bigger scholarships, there are more ways to win!

• Increased Scholarship Prizes Duck® Brand is offering the biggest cash prizes, yet. Two grand prize winners that make the most eye-catching Duck Tape® designs—one dress and one tux—will each take home $15,000 and each of the runners-up will receive $1,000.
• Judges’ Choice Categories In addition to the above prizes, three of the top 10 finalists will receive a judges' choice award plus another $1,000. The new categories include Runway Worthy, Most Inspiring and Trust E.’s Choice.

The 2024 contest timeline is as follows:

Entry Period – March 27, 2024 - 12PM ET June 5, 2024

Judging Period – June 12, 2024 - June 19, 2024

Community Voting – June 26, 2024 - July 10, 2024

Winners Announced – On or about July 17, 2024

It’s the coolest scholarship contest around, that’s what. Students are challenged to create and wear their own prom outfits made entirely from Duck Tape for the chance to win scholarship cash!

You do not! We’ve removed the requirement to wear your one-of-a-kind creation to prom. You’ll need to submit at least one photo of you decked out in your Duck Tape® prom attire at a location of your choosing.

Of course you can, although attending prom is no longer a requirement. But if you and your date will both be creating and wearing Duck Tape fashions, you’ll have to enter the contest separately, in either the “dress” or “tux” categories.

Nope! There are two options for entering the Stuck At Prom contest:

1. You can create a written essay that details your outfit as requested on the entry form, or

2. You can create a video that showcases your outfit per the details in the entry form.

Whichever option you choose needs to be submitted when you enter the contest.

Note: If you do create a video, make sure it does not contain any brand names or logos other than Duck® Brand (i.e., TikTok watermark) or music you don’t have written permission to use.

Because each state has its own laws governing contests, it’s difficult for us to offer promotions that can be entered by everyone throughout the US and Canada. Unfortunately, Duck® Brand has no control over those restrictions, and the states listed above prohibit entry to this contest. Some common restrictions include CA & UT for alcohol related contests; MA, MI and VA do not allow tobacco-related contests; FL, NY and RI have more restrictive laws governing prizes of high value and so are often excluded; while Quebec has particularly stringent laws about sweepstakes. Although not legally restrictive, AK & HI are often omitted due to higher shipping costs for distributing prizes

Hey, that’s like asking us to rent your tux or send you a free prom dress! Sorry, but it’s up to individuals and schools to supply their own Duck Tape® to make their prom wear creations.

One (1) First Place Prize – Dress Category: $15,000 will be awarded to the winning Finalist in the Dress Category.

One (1) First Place Prize – Tux Category: $15,000 will be awarded to the winning Finalist in the Tux Category.

Eight (8) Runners Up Prizes: $1,000 Cash Scholarship and Duck® Brand Prize Packs (ARV $100 each) will be awarded to the remaining Finalists in each of the Dress and Tux Categories.

• Three (3) Category Prizes: Additional $1,000 Cash Scholarship

Entry Requirements

We’d love to tell you “everyone is welcomed to enter!” But, you gotta play by the rules. So to enter the contest you must:

• Be at least 14 years of age.
• Be enrolled in high school or home school association (at the high-school level) during the 2023 - 2024 school year.
• Be a legal resident of the United States and the District of Columbus (excluding Tennesee, Maryland, Colorado, Vermont, Nebraska and North Dakota) or a legal resident of Canada (excluding the Province of Quebec)
• Not have been a finalist in any previous Stuck at Prom contests.

At Duck® Brand, we’re inclusive. So, our dress and tux categories are open to anyone – and everyone! Just make sure you meet the criteria for the category and Contest!

Good news! Entering isn’t just fun – it’s easy! Here’s how you do it: Head to the entry form. Then, submit at least one high resolution photo of you decked out in your Duck Tape® prom outfit plus all the required entry info during the contest entry period. If you’re under 18 yrs. old, don’t forget to get your parent’s permission. After you submit, a confirmation email will be sent right to your inbox.

Don’t worry, it’s probably a minor issue. Try this:

• Try using a different Internet browser to post your entry.
• Restart your device and try submitting your entry again.
• Double check that your Internet connection is working.
• Double check that your photo/video file size is not too big.

Still having trouble? Email us at [email protected] with a screenshot and explanation of your issue.

Definitely! But if you do, be sure to include a photography release form signed by the photographer with your submission.

You’re free to create your Duck Tape® prom wear whenever you like. But you can only enter your creation during the official contest entry period.

Copyrights are tricky – and stricter than you think. If your Duck Tape® prom outfit or submission materials use existing work from someone else, it could be a copyright infringement. That means it could be disqualified from entry. So it’s best to avoid outfits that include:

• Characters from movies, books, or video games • Sports teams and sports personalities • Brand names and other logos (including TikTok watermark on video submissions) • Album covers and lyrics from bands or musicians (including music you don’t have written permission to use in video submissions) • Pieces of art • The list goes on and on

We really want to see the cool outfits that come from your imagination! So dream up your own design! If you use any of the above - or any other copyright-protected material - you will be subject to disqualification at the discretion of our Stuck at Prom® and legal teams. For more information on copyright infringement, check out our Official Rules.

Absolutely! As long as you are enrolled in a home school association (at the high-school level) during the 2023 - 2024 school year. And again this year, we’ve removed the requirement to attend prom. See the Official Rules for more information.

Yes! You need to be enrolled in high school or home school association (at the high-school level) during the 2023 - 2024 school year. See the Official Rules for more information.

Sorry! We’ll only accept one (1) submission per Entrant.

It depends! If you’ve entered in the past but didn’t win, good news! You can enter the contest again, but make sure it’s a brand new creation. You cannot reenter the same promwear twice. If you’ve entered in the past but did win a prize, unfortunately you cannot enter the contest again.

Sorry, but once an entry is submitted, it’s final. You can’t change or update your contest entry or any pics you’ve submitted.

You’ll get an email within 5 business days to let you know that your entry is accepted – or if it’s rejected. So once you submit your entry, watch your inbox for info and make sure to check your junk mail!

Not so fast! The submission information for all entries must be approved and verified before we can post photos in our gallery. This stuff takes time.

Here’s how it works: Duck® brand selects a panel of judges, and those judges will determine the finalists based on:

• Workmanship - 20% Workmanship is judged based on the quality, neatness and attention to detail given in creating the outfits and accessories.
• Originality - 20% Originality is judged based on the uniqueness, inventiveness, creativity and original thought of the outfits and accessories.
• Use of Colors - 20% Use of Colors is judged based on the combination, integration and harmony of colors used to create the outfits and accessories.
• Accessories - 20% Accessories are judged based on the creativity and use in accentuating and completing the outfits.
• Use of Duck® Brand Duct Tape - 20% Use of Duck Tape® is judged based on how duct tape is used to construct the pieces of the outfits and accessories.

For the official list of judging criteria, see the Official Rules.

We’ll give you the awesome news by contacting you at the phone and email address you provided in your contest entry.

Finalist & Winner Selection

• A member from the Duck® Brand team will contact you via phone and email with the good news and the paperwork to make it official!
• Your pic will be posted in our spectacular Gallery, where it will compete against other entries in the online community voting phase. After that:
• The Finalist receiving the greatest number of valid votes in the Dress Category will be selected as the winner of the Dress Category and awarded the First Place Prize for the Dress Category.
• The Finalist receiving the greatest number of valid votes in the Tux Category will be selected as the winner of the Tux Category and awarded the First Place Prize in the Tux Category.
• The remaining Finalists will each be awarded a Runner’s Up Prize.
• Three additional Category Prizes will be awarded to three of the Finalists.
• If you do not receive a notification from us prior to the Voting Period, then you unfortunately were not selected as a finalist and we encourage you to enter again next year if you meet the criteria!
• Tell everyone you know. No, really … everyone. Friends, family, people from school, people you pass on the street, teachers, the mailman – EVERYONE. Get them to vote – and spread the word themselves!
• Get to the Internet! Share your entry online using the #StuckatProm hashtag – TikTok, Snapchat, Instagram, Twitter, YouTube, Pinterest, Reddit, your blog… whatever it takes to reach as many people as possible!
• Tell the media! Your local newspaper or TV news station! That can really spread the word and get you votes.
• Feeling stuck? Ask us! We’ll provide you with the tools and support you need to get the word out.

We’ll spread the good news on the StuckAtProm.com site, via email, and via social media on the Duck® Brand and Duck Tape® accounts – we'll even release the news to the local and national media!

If you win, you’ll be the first to know! We’ll contact you at the phone and email address you provided in your entry before we make a public announcement about the winner!

After Duck® Brand’s panel of judges selects the top 10 finalists, they will then award three of these finalists to receive a judges’ choice award. The winners of these awards will be announced when the Grand Prize winners are determined.

These new award categories include:

• Runway Worthy From trend-forward designs to dazzling statement accessories, this judges' choice award highlights the Duck Tape® promwear the judges can likely see strutting on the runway.
• Most Inspiring Tell the story! Our judges love to hear the why and how Stuck at Prom® participants create their Duck Tape® promwear. This judges' choice award will be based on the story behind the dress or tux shared through a video or essay.
• Trust E.'s Choice All Stuck at Prom® participants each showcase exceptional skill, creativity and great determination in entering this competitive contest. In honor of this, the beloved face of Duck® Brand, Trust E. Duck, will name their top choice for this judges' choice award.

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The bride loved her mom’s mother-of-the-bride dress. The internet did not

Beverly Norberg tried on 30 mother-of-the-bride dresses before she found “the one.”

“My husband and son were with me in New York, and their faces lit up when they saw me,” Norberg, 55, tells TODAY.com . 

Bride Sydney Marie Slavens, 28, had the same reaction when her mom FaceTimed from the fitting room of Manhattan's Flora on Madison. Not only did Norberg look beautiful, but the blue taffeta ball gown featuring a drop-waist and embroidered flowers, checked all of Slavens’s boxes.

“I’m all about texture,” Slavens, a wedding photographer in Orlando, Florida, tells TODAY.com, noting that she wanted Norberg to stand out. She also liked that Norberg would be her something blue without being too obvious. And Slavens knew Norberg's look would photograph well next to her Ines Di Santo silk dress

But of course, the internet had thoughts. After Slavens shared footage from her nuptials on social media, Norberg was accused of trying to upstage her daughter on her special day.

“People got cruel to the point where I stopped looking,” Norberg says.

“I deleted one of the videos because it got to be too much,” Slavens adds. 

Reactions included:

• “Was confused at first? 2 brides? I think mom’s gown is a wedding dress. Why though?”
• “It’s gorgeous. But too much. The bride should have the only wow dress. Mom looks like she’s getting married or going to prom.”
• "If my mom wore that I’d be scared she’d outshine me!"
• "i thought the mom was the bride and u guys were doing a guests wear white type thing. u guys are so pretty tho."
• "She looks gorgeous, you look gorgeous. Period.
• "It is very clearly blue!! And it’s STUNNING."
• “It looks like a bed sheet.”
• “She looks like the bride.”
• “No. Too hard to tell who the bride is.”
• “I thought that Mom was the bride and the daughter was a bridesmaid. The mother’s dress definitely looked more like a formal wedding gown.”

“There’s this old-fashioned notion that the mother-of-the-bride needs to look matronly with longer sleeves and covered shoulders, and the whole industry centers around that," Norberg shares. 

Norberg says that’s why it took her so long to find her Nadia Manjarrez ball gown. 

"I'd be out shopping and call Sydney and she'd be like, 'No. Boring,'" Norberg recalls. "She wanted me to make a statement."

Mission accomplished.

Rachel Paula Abrahamson is a lifestyle reporter who writes for the parenting, health and shop verticals. Her bylines have appeared in The New York Times, Good Housekeeping, Redbook, and elsewhere. Rachel lives in the Boston area with her husband and their two daughters. Follow her on Instagram .

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