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good personal statement hook

How to Get the Perfect Hook for Your College Essay

What’s covered:, developing your hook.

  • 5 College Essay Hook Examples

5 Tips and Examples for Crafting a Great Hook

Your essay is one of the best tools available for standing out in a crowded field of college applicants (many with academic portfolios similar to yours) when applying to your dream school. A college essay is your opportunity to show admissions committees the person behind the grades, test scores, and resume. To ensure your college essay receives the full attention of admissions committees, you need to lure them in with a great hook—that is, a compelling opening that makes your audience hungry for more.

You need a strong start to capture the attention of the admission committees. When it comes to college essays, first impressions are everything. In fact, there’s no guarantee that anyone is going to read more than your first sentence if you bore them to tears within a few words, which is why it’s essential to craft an effective and engaging hook.

There’s no one-size-fits-all strategy for composing an attention-grabbing hook. A well-crafted hook can be anything from an image to an anecdote to an interesting fact while factors like writing style, essay structure, and prompt can all influence what makes for a good hook. That said, memorable hooks share a number of attributes, most notably they draw readers in,  connect with the topic you’re writing about, and leave a lasting impression, often in a creative or unexpected way.

For example, let’s construct a hypothetical essay. Let’s say that after some careful consideration, Jane Doe has decided to write her personal essay about her experience running canine obedience classes. She isn’t quite sure how to start her essay, so she’s practicing with some proven essay hooks. If you’re ready to develop your own hook, check out four of our favorite college essay hook strategies and how they work for Jane below!

College Essay Hook Examples

There are a number of proven strategies that Jane can use to craft a compelling hook. A few tried-and-true hooks include:

1. Open with an Anecdote

People love stories, so it makes sense that telling one is a great way to attract readers. Detailing a relevant anecdote provides context for your essay and can give the reader an idea of what you are up against if you’re overcoming an obstacle or rising to a challenge.

On the day that I told my mother I wanted to start my own canine obedience school, she smiled and muttered something under her breath about the irony of my youthful disobedience and my newfound passion for enforcing rules. What she didn’t know then was that it was not in spite of, but rather because of, my tendency to push the boundaries that I was confident in my ability to succeed.

2. Set the Scene

One fantastic way to get your essay moving and to draw your readers in is to plunge them into the middle of an important scene. Provide readers with descriptive details and dialogue to make them feel like they’re watching a movie from your life and have just tuned in at a critical moment.

I jumped back as the dog lunged for my leg, teeth bared and snarling. “It’s okay, Smokey, it’s okay,” I soothed as I tried to maneuver closer to the post where I had tied his leash. In the back of my head, I heard my brother’s taunts swirling around.

“A dog trainer?” he had scoffed. “What kind of person would hire you as a dog trainer?!”

I pushed the thoughts away and grasped the leash, pulling it tightly to my side as Smokey, surprised by my sudden confidence, fell into stride beside me.

3. Ask a Question

Asking a question at the beginning of your essay can activate your reader’s critical thinking and get them hungry for the answer that you won’t offer until later. Try to come up with a question that’s broad enough that they won’t know the answer right away, but specific enough that it isn’t a generic hook that could work on just any college essay.

How do you respond when you’re faced with a very real physical threat to your safety, yet you literally can’t afford to back down? This is the question I faced on my very first day as a dog trainer.

4. Use a Metaphor or Simile

A metaphor or simile can pull readers in by helping them make connections between seemingly unrelated topics or by encouraging them to think about topics from a different point of view.

Running canine obedience classes is a lot like navigating high school. It’s a dog-eat-dog world with a lot to learn, many personalities to manage, peril around every corner, and everyone anxious to graduate.

Selecting the right hook is a great first step for writing a winning college essay, but the execution is also important.

1. Narrow Down Your Scope

Sometimes the best way to tackle big projects like writing an attention-grabbing hook or captivating college essay is to think small. Narrow down on a specific incident or even a moment that leads into your topic.

It’s my first time teaching a canine obedience class. I’m surrounded by strangers and the dogs are barking so loud I can’t hear myself think, but I have a gnawing feeling that I’m losing control. I put my fingers to my lips and let out the loudest whistle I’m capable of. Suddenly there was silence.

2. Use Adjectives

Adjectives are used to add a description and make your writing clearer and more specific. In other words, they’re the details that make your writing stand out and suck readers in. Jane didn’t simply reward the dog for sitting, she…

It was a battle of wills between me and the eight-month-old Australian Shepherd—defiance was in his sparkling blue eyes, but so was desire for the bit of hot dog hiding in my hand. Reluctantly he sat, earning his treat while I claimed my alpha status.

3. Use Emotion

Use emotion to connect and entice your reader. Emotions make readers feel, pulling them into your essay, and are memorable. You can use them for everything from sharing a fact about yourself to putting the reader in your shoes.

When I was young, I would have been extremely lonely if not for my dog Trevor. I struggled to make friends and Trevor provided companionship, helped me overcome my shyness (he was a great icebreaker), and is responsible for shaping who I am today. When Trevor passed away in high school, I set out to train canine obedience and help dogs become the best versions of themselves—just like what Trevor did for me.

4. Short and Sweet

Admissions committees have a lot of essays to read, so the quicker you get to the point and capture their attention, the better.

Mere moments into my dream job, someone had already peed on the floor and another had bitten a person. Welcome to the life of a dog trainer.

5. Just Start Writing

Sometimes the hook of your college essay isn’t clear. Rather than getting hung up, start developing your essay and see if it adds clarity as to how to best implement a hook. Some students even find that it’s easiest to write a hook last, after writing the body of the personal statement.

Where to Get Feedback on Your Essay Hook

Wondering if you created an effective hook? It’s difficult to evaluate your own writing, especially a line or two you read and reworked numerous times. CollegeVine can help. Through our free Peer Essay Review tool , you can get a free review of your hook, and overall essay, from another student. Then you can pay it forward and improve your own writing skills by reviewing other students’ essays.

If you want a college admissions expert to review your essay, advisors on CollegeVine have helped students refine their writing and submit successful applications to top schools. Find the right advisor for you to improve your chances of getting into your dream school!

Related CollegeVine Blog Posts

good personal statement hook

willpeachMD

Medical School Personal Statement Hooks (13 Examples)

Medical school personal statement hooks, although they need to be used very carefully, can certainly help bring some personality and originality to an application.

Making up the introductory paragraph of your essay that leads the reader in, they’re also very important.

But it can be hard knowing where to start when it comes to putting them together. Or understanding what works best and why.

To help, I’ve decided to put together 13 hook examples in this article.

Adding my own small critique (on what I think does or doesn’t work), maybe they can offer some guidance when it comes to deciding what to use for your own hooks.

Along with examples, here’s what else we’ll cover to help you with your hooks:

  • Hook topic ideas
  • What makes a good/bad hook
  • Tips on how to write an effective personal statement hook

Ready to get started? Let’s go.

What is a Hook?

A hook is the opening of an essay or a general theme or topic underpinning it.

It’s important because it’s the first thing the reader will see. Therefore it provides the best opportunity for engagement.

Depending on what your prompt is, the hooks you choose can differ across applications. It’ll need to fit a small percentage of the overall word count too (usually around 5,300 characters).

Related : Medical School Diversity Essay Prompts (21 Examples)

A hook can also start from anywhere. It can be a conclusion. Or an insight.

Many applicants choose to present it as a descriptive story rather than a simple “I” statement.

As you’ll see from the following examples!

13 Medical School Personal Statement Hook Examples

To really see and understand these hooks in action, it’s important you click through to those you like and read the examples in their broader context.

The ones picked out here (except those from Reddit) are the hooks included in the general introductions of larger essays.

Examples #1 and #2: General Vs Personal Hooks

“Hope to see you again next week,” I said, while handing the drug addict a packet of syringes. u/throwawatyyyy
Ma’am is this your son?” It was a question I always got as a kid, adopted into a biracial family that was not my own. u/boopboopthesnoot

These examples, taken from Reddit, show some insight into the value of hooks.

The first one received feedback for being a little too generic (overly focused on the “I want to be a doctor because I want to help people” trope) and clunky (using the words “drug addict”).

While the second is more successful; being more personal.

Examples #3 and #4: Engaging Hooks

My story begins at the age of six. I am dressed in a tiny suit with a miniature cello, the perfect size for a doll. It is the debut of The Aloha Trio: I am on cello, and my two older sisters are on violin and flute. My mother describes it as a way of sharing our Hawaiian spirit of “aloha” with a deserving audience. I think of it as torture.
My first patient was a man in his 60’s who fell down a few stairs at the hockey complex. His foot slipped out from under him while climbing the concrete steps, and he smashed his knee and elbow in the process. As a newly certified EMT, it was the first time I was responsible for another’s health. – U.S. News

The two examples here, held up as successful by the respective adcoms reviewing them, are commended for “capturing the reader’s imagination” and showing “clear motivation” as to why they want to become a doctor.

You’ll see the second example is much more measured and matter-of-fact in tone.

Admissions teams aren’t expecting masterful writing verging on “Creative Writing 101”.

Considered and well-thought-out hooks that engage without turning off are far more appropriate!

Examples #5 and #6: Poignant Vs Comedic Hooks

“I love Scriabin!” exclaimed Logan, a 19-year-old patient at the hospital, as we found a common interest in the obscure Russian composer. I knew Logan’s story because it was so similar to my own: a classically-trained pianist, he was ready to head off to college in a month, just as I had the year before. Yet it was Logan who was heading into surgery to remove a recently-discovered brain tumor.
At the beginning of the first Alternative Spring Break (ASB) meeting that I was leading in front of a group of nervous volunteers, I used an icebreaker, Two Truths and a Lie. Being a common face at my campus’s student activities, I have played this game perhaps one too many times. Unlike everyone else who had to take time to think about their interesting truths, I would say the same thing every time. “I want to be a pediatrician, I have alpacas, and I have llamas.” I do not have llamas. – Med School Insiders

Med School Insiders hold up the first example here as better than the second (based on the greater context).

Both hooks are strong. The second one, which uses an anecdote to draw the reader in, makes effective use of humor.

Be careful that your hook helps “show” rather than “tell” your suitability for medicine.

Examples #7 and #8: Narrative Vs Direct Hooks

I made my way to Hillary’s house after hearing about her alcoholic father’s incarceration. Seeing her tearfulness and at a loss for words, I took her hand and held it, hoping to make things more bearable. She squeezed back gently in reply, “thank you.” My silent gesture seemed to confer a soundless message of comfort, encouragement and support.
I was one of those kids who always wanted to be doctor. I didn’t understand the responsibilities and heartbreaks, the difficult decisions, and the years of study and training that go with the title, but I did understand that the person in the white coat stood for knowledge, professionalism, and compassion.  – BeMo

Example #7’s hook here seems to be a lot more impactful than #8’s.

The first is more personal and unique, the second a little too generic and expected.

Example #9: Inquisitive Hooks

Jeremy sobbed quietly, taking deep, shuddering breaths. He wiped his eyes on his favorite Spiderman T-shirt, the one he had been wearing hours earlier when he’d heard the news: His mother had been arrested again, and he may not see her for a very long time. What do you say to a ten-year-old child in that situation? – Transizion

This hook is a great example of capturing the reader and leaving them wanting more.

The use of the question forces the reader to be active in the story.

Your hook should always consider the reader.

Asking questions of them can be a useful way to achieve this.

Example #10: Authentic Hooks

New Orleans was hot and humid during the summer months of 2014–no surprise there. However, for a native Oregonian like me, waking up to 90-degree and 85%-humidity days initially seemed like too much to bear. That was until I reflected on the fact that my temporary discomfort was minute in contrast to the destruction of communities and emotional pounding experienced by the people of New Orleans during and after Hurricane Katrina nine years earlier. – Shemassian Consulting

This example hook has authenticity at its core, providing a tangible example of how the subject helped better the situation.

The individual doesn’t have to tell the reader they are compassionate, it’s shown by the events included in the hook itself.

As Shemassian suggests; your essay doesn’t need to have any “a-ha moment” or a sudden realization.

A slow unfurling story coupled with a descriptive, relatable hook, is often more realistic and grounded in the eyes of the reader.

Example #11 and #12: Contrarian Vs “Off-Topic” Hooks

Mary was well known at our clinic by all of our doctors, nurses, and medical staff. Based on her sharp intellect and cheerful pattern of making all of our staff feel like we were her best friends, it would be difficult to tell why she frequently visited the hospital. Outside of her use of a walker, her Parkinson’s disease diagnosis had not slowed her down much…I wanted to give her the best care possible, whether through asking our great nurses to check in on her or offering an extra blanket or favorite snack to ensure comfort throughout her stay. However, I was simultaneously frustrated that my ability to help Mary ended there. This lingering lack of fulfillment has served as a great motivator to find more ways to do more for patients like her.
My palms had never been as sweaty as when I walked on stage with my trombone in front of a 500-plus member audience on June 9 th , 2015. Sure, I was pretty good, but I would like to think that being invited to play Curtis Fuller’s  Along Came Betty  at the Omaha Black Music Hall of Fame had as much to do with the music skills I had honed over the past decade as it did with training the 8-member band of 10 to 13 year-olds from the inner city to join me on that same stage. I was nervous because this performance was for them; I needed to be at my best. – Prospective Doctor

The first hook here shows good use of contrast.

The subject is at odds with their desire to help the patient but also held back from doing so. Hooks that express contrary viewpoints like this are often very impactful.

Hook #12 is great because it’s so different. We take a break from the common themes of medicine and are transported into another world (but still one with transferrable skills and experiences), which also leads us to want to find out more (did the performance go well?)

Depending on the prompt, your hook can go down unique avenues like this.

It doesn’t always need to start with direct relevance to medicine.

Example #13

The AIDS hospice reeked from disease and neglect. On my first day there, after an hour of “training,” I met Paul, a tall, emaciated, forty-year-old AIDS victim who was recovering from a stroke that had severely affected his speech. I took him to General Hospital for a long-overdue appointment. It had been weeks since he had been outside…While elated that I had literally made Paul’s day, the neglect and emotional isolation from which he suffered disgusted me. This was a harsh side of medicine I had not seen before. Right then and there, I wondered, “Do I really want to go into medicine?” – Accepted.com

Again, this hook is an example of making a contrary point while “showing” the applicant’s relevant extracurricular experience.

In a pile of 20-30 essays, I bet this hook stands out.

Questioning if you even want to go into medicine in the introduction of a med school application is a risk. But it’s also a risk that, if expertly answered, could have a fantastic payoff.

If you’re confident you can back it up with the rest of your essay, risky hooks like this can work well.

Medical School Personal Statement Hook Topics

Coming up with ideas on what to use for your essay hook can be just as difficult as actually writing it.

Here are some popular ideas used by previous applicants that could serve as inspiration:

  • Being first in your family to go to college
  • Losing a loved one to suicide
  • Raising a family
  • Graduating early
  • Growing up in poverty/experiencing homelessness
  • Overcoming physical disability
  • Working construction
  • Military career
  • Teaching career
  • Polyglot/speaking multiple languages
  • Running political campaigns
  • Martial arts instructor
  • Raising goats/chickens
  • Competitive eSports athlete
  • Professional musician
  • Powerlifting and sports training

You can turn almost anything personal to you into a hook.

Spend some time thinking about the things you’ve done/achieved/overcome in life and make a list first (before you start writing).

The important thing is that your personal statement answers some form of the question; “ why medicine ?”

Your hook ultimately should lead into that.

Related : “ Why Do You Want To Be A Doctor?” (Reddit’s 19 Best Answers!)

Related Questions

Do personal statements need a hook.

Hooks aren’t always appropriate for personal statements. There’s no cut-and-dry rule that says you have to start with them.

For many applications, however, hooks can be very useful. Especially if you consider the admissions committee member reading through 20-40 similar-sounding essays in a single day.

In those cases, a good hook can help you grab the attention of the reader and stand out. As well as sell other aspects of yourself that aren’t always obvious or evident in your application.

Whether that actually betters your chance of getting into med school, is probably too much of a stretch to say. But it definitely could help differentiate you.

What is a good hook for a personal statement?

The best hooks are ones that are appropriate to an activity you’re introducing. The more unique they are, and the more effective at fuelling curiosity and encouraging someone to keep reading, the better.

“I’m sick and don’t know if I’ll get better.” Hearing those words is probably the most painful memory I have about my mother. And I’m reminded of it often when I talk with family at the Memorial Hospital Cancer Center.

But there is a fine line between being overly theatric and measured.

A good hook usually does one (or more) of the following:

  • Avoids the cliche “I love science and helping people” opener
  • Shows doesn’t tell
  • Humanizes the subject
  • Personal to you (doesn’t read as if it could have been written by anyone else)
  • Carefully balances unique and shocking (it still needs to be an effective, serviceable essay)
  • Avoids clunky langage/being tonally offensive

A good way to find out if you have a strong hook is to have it critiqued by an editor.

The examples above are just that (examples).

Without knowing the other aspects of a student’s application (or story), their value can be hard to judge!

That’s why it’s also important that the hook you use ties into both the body of your essay and its final paragraph.

What is a bad hook?

A bad hook is usually contrived. It might feature a run-of-the-mill quote or smack of unoriginality. Or tries to define something rather obvious.

An example of a bad hook could be something like:

The definition of medicine has gone through as many changes as the human race. Straddling the worlds of both art and science, it continues to remain unconfined to the boundaries of language.

This is both general (lacks any sense of personality) and empty.

Bad hooks for personal statements miss emotive marks and say little about the person writing them.

Or they over-dramatize the mundane, possibly differentiating you in a negative way.

Why are personal statement hooks so hard to write?

The big reason why hooks are so difficult to write is because of the pressure. They are the opening lines of a statement that’s meant to distill your entire ethos and philosophy for studying medicine into a few short paragraphs. And also summarize countless hours of extracurricular prep and everything else.

But another key reason is that you’re simply not used to crafting them.

Because of that, supposed “good” hooks can sometimes look cliched and cringe-inducing.

Your general lack of experience makes it hard to tell good ones from the bad.

How do you write a personal statement hook for medical school?

Now we’ve explored the example hooks and spent some time in discussion over what could make them good/bad, here are some general tips on how to go about writing them:

  • Start by listing down all the possible ideas you could use for hooks (use the topic ideas to help)
  • Choose the top 3-5 ideas and start turning them into short introductory paragraphs (use the examples as models)
  • Get feedback by running them past other applicants/successful med students
  • Go with the hook that you feel best suits the potential body of the essay

Starting with hooks is probably the best way to begin framing your essay as a whole.

Just getting in the practice of coming up with several ideas is great for overcoming any resistance to writing and helping you gain the confidence in believing you can create something great.

As a quick reminder, here are some of the top do’s/don’ts to keep in mind as you move through this process

  • Do match the hook to the prompt (don’t make it seem random or off-topic)
  • Don’t feel that the hook has to be the starting sentence only (it can be 2-3 sentences or an entire opening paragraph)
  • Do “show”, don’t “tell”
  • Do road test your hooks with friends/family
  • Don’t include controversial topics
  • Don’t be overly flowery (it’s a pointed essay, not a meandering novel)
  • Don’t make it a sob story
  • Don’t include patient names
  • Don’t be repetitive
  • Don’t include anything you wouldn’t want to talk about in an interview
  • Don’t speak negatively (of yourself or others)
  • Don’t use medical jargon
  • Don’t use acronyms without writing them out first

Ready to start coming up with some hooks?

Will

Born and raised in the UK, Will went into medicine late (31) after a career in journalism. He’s into football (soccer), learned Spanish after 5 years in Spain, and has had his work published all over the web. Read more .

Learning Materials

How to write a good hook: a step-by-step guide.

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Updated: Jan 25, 2024

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Imagine casting a fishing line into the vast ocean, what makes the fish bite? It's the lure, intriguing and irresistible. Just like fishing, writing begins with a hook that grabs your reader's attention, but crafting that perfect opener can often feel daunting. A good hook is the first statement in your writing designed to captivate your audience, making them eager to dive deeper into your work. In this step-by-step guide, we'll explore the art of writing compelling hooks for various types of essays, provide examples to spark your creativity, and offer strategies to ensure your opening line makes a memorable first impression.

Start Writing Your Free Essay!

Understanding hooks: the gateway to engaging writing.

a person holding a fishing lure in front of a body of water

At the heart of every captivating piece of writing lies a powerful tool known as the "hook." A hook is essentially the opening line or paragraph that grabs the reader's attention right from the start. Imagine opening a book and being immediately drawn into its world, or starting an article and feeling an irresistible urge to read on. That's the magic of a well-crafted hook. It's not just any opening sentence; it's your first, and perhaps most crucial, opportunity to engage your audience. Whether it's an intriguing question, a surprising fact, or a vivid scene, the hook sets the tone for everything that follows.

Why is the hook so important? In today's fast-paced world, where distractions abound, capturing your reader's attention within the first few seconds is more critical than ever. Studies show that our attention spans have significantly decreased, making the battle for engagement a tough one. A compelling hook acts as a gateway, inviting the reader into the narrative and making them want to stay. It's not just about starting strong; it's about laying the foundation for a connection that keeps the reader invested in your story or argument. By understanding the role and power of hooks, writers can transform their openings from mere introductions to captivating invitations into their written worlds.

The Different Flavors of Hooks: Choosing the Right One

An array of colorful spices on spoons arranged in a semi-circle, symbolizing variety, captured from above, Photographic, with a sharp focus and bright, natural lighting.

Just as a chef selects the perfect ingredients to create a dish that will delight the senses, a writer must choose the right type of hook to engage their reader's interest from the very beginning. There are various "flavors" of hooks at your disposal, each serving a unique purpose and appealing to different tastes. Rhetorical questions provoke thought and curiosity, anecdotes offer a personal touch that can make your writing more relatable, and startling facts grab attention with their unexpectedness. Understanding the nuances of each type allows you to tailor your opening to the specific dish you're serving – that is, the theme, tone, and audience of your essay.

Selecting the appropriate hook is akin to choosing the right key for a song; it sets the stage for everything that follows. For instance, a rhetorical question might be perfect for an essay that challenges common beliefs, while an anecdote could be the ideal opener for a personal narrative that aims to connect deeply with the reader. Startling facts work well in essays that aim to inform or persuade based on empirical evidence. It's important to consider not just the essay's content, but also its intended effect on the reader. By matching the "flavor" of the hook to the essay's goals, writers can create a harmonious and compelling introduction that resonates with their audience.

Hook Examples That Capture Attention

Let's dive into some examples of hooks that have the power to captivate readers right from the start. Imagine opening an essay on environmental conservation with a startling fact: "Every minute, an area of rainforest the size of 20 football fields is lost." This fact immediately sets a serious and urgent tone, compelling the reader to learn more. On a lighter note, an anecdote could open a personal essay on the joys and trials of learning to cook: "The first time I tried to make a soufflé, it ended up looking more like a pancake." This humorous glimpse into the writer's life piques curiosity and builds a relatable connection.

For essays that seek to challenge or provoke, a rhetorical question can be incredibly effective: "What if everything you were taught about healthy eating was wrong?" This question not only draws readers in but also primes them for a discussion that may alter their preconceived notions. Meanwhile, a quote can lend authority and thematic depth to an essay on leadership: "As John C. Maxwell once said, 'A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way, and shows the way.'" By carefully selecting a hook that aligns with the essay's theme and desired impact, writers can ensure that their first impression is both memorable and engaging.

When to Weave Your Hook: Timing in the Writing Process

A sequence of hourglasses with sand flowing, on a wooden table, depicting the concept of timing, in a warm indoor setting, Photographic, with soft light highlighting the sand's movement.

Crafting the perfect hook is a crucial step in the writing process, but when exactly should you focus on this task? Many writers might be tempted to start with the hook right away, believing it sets the tone for everything that follows. However, an effective strategy is to write your hook after you have a clear understanding of your essay's content and direction . This approach allows you to craft a hook that not only grabs attention but also aligns seamlessly with the overall message and purpose of your essay. By waiting until you have laid out your arguments or narrative, you ensure that your hook is not just intriguing but also deeply connected to the essence of your writing.

There are several benefits to crafting your hook later in the writing process:

  • Alignment with your essay's tone and purpose : Ensuring that your hook accurately reflects the tone and main ideas of your essay is easier when you have a complete draft in front of you.
  • Flexibility to experiment : Writing your hook later gives you the freedom to experiment with different types of hooks (such as rhetorical questions, startling facts, or anecdotes) to see which one best suits your essay.
  • Enhanced creativity and relevance : With a fully fleshed-out essay, you can draw upon its content to create a hook that is not only creative but also highly relevant to your reader's interests and the essay's key themes. This strategic placement of the hook within the writing process ensures that your opening line is not just a catchy phrase but a compelling gateway into your essay's world .

Tailoring Your Hook to the Essay Prompt

Tailoring your hook to the essay prompt is like choosing the right outfit for an occasion—it needs to fit perfectly to make the right impact. The essay prompt provides clues about the tone, style, and direction your essay should take, making it essential to align your hook accordingly. For example, if the prompt asks for a reflective piece on a personal experience, an anecdote that resonates with the theme will draw readers in more effectively than a startling statistic. Similarly, for a prompt that demands a critical analysis of a societal issue, starting with a provocative question or a startling fact can set the stage for a compelling argument. It's all about matching the hook to the prompt's requirements to ensure your essay starts on the right foot.

Here are a few strategies to ensure your hook is perfectly tailored to your essay prompt:

  • Reflect on the prompt's key themes : Identify the core themes or questions posed by the prompt and brainstorm hooks that directly engage with these ideas.
  • Consider the desired emotional impact : Determine what emotions the prompt aims to evoke—be it curiosity, empathy, or shock—and choose a hook that aligns with this emotional tone.
  • Keep the audience in mind : Think about who will be reading your essay and what kind of hook would be most appealing or relevant to them. A hook that intrigues a general audience might differ from one that captures the attention of a more specialized group. By meticulously aligning your hook with the essay prompt, you ensure that your introduction not only captures attention but also sets a coherent and relevant tone for the rest of your essay.

Crafting Hooks for Argumentative Essays

a laptop and a notebook on a wooden table

Crafting hooks for argumentative essays demands a strategic approach due to their persuasive nature. Unlike narrative or expository essays, argumentative essays aim to sway the reader's opinion from the outset. Therefore, the hook in an argumentative essay should not only grab attention but also position the reader to be more receptive to the argument that follows. This can be achieved through:

  • Posing a provocative question that challenges preconceived notions
  • Presenting a startling fact or statistic related to the essay's argument
  • Quoting a powerful statement from a reputable source that aligns with your stance

The effectiveness of your hook in an argumentative essay hinges on its ability to engage the reader's emotions and intellect simultaneously. For instance, a hook that highlights a controversial issue or a common misconception can spark curiosity and encourage readers to explore your perspective further. Remember, the goal is to make readers question their current beliefs and consider your argument with an open mind. By carefully crafting your hook to align with the persuasive goal of your essay, you set the stage for a compelling and thought-provoking argument.

Personal Statements: Hooks That Tell Your Story

a blue notebook on a table next to a cup of coffee

Crafting a good hook for your personal statement is about more than just grabbing attention; it's about making an authentic and emotional connection with the reader from the very first line. Your personal statement is a unique opportunity to share your story, your aspirations, and what makes you, you. To achieve this, start with something deeply personal or an experience that shaped you. This could be a pivotal moment, a challenge you overcame, or a passion that drives you. The key is to be genuine; authenticity resonates more than any grandiose statement could. Here are a few approaches to consider:

  • A vivid anecdote that illustrates a defining moment
  • A question that reflects your inner thoughts or dilemmas
  • A powerful statement that encapsulates your values or ambitions

Remember, the goal of your hook is not just to pique interest, but to set the tone for your entire personal statement. It should seamlessly lead into the rest of your story, highlighting why you are a compelling candidate for admission. This means that after capturing the reader's attention, your hook should also hint at the themes or experiences you will explore in greater detail. For instance, if your hook is about a moment of failure, your statement might delve into the lessons learned and how they propelled you forward. Or, if you start with a question about your identity, the rest of your essay can explore how various experiences have shaped your understanding of yourself. By carefully crafting a hook that is both engaging and reflective of your overall narrative, you'll ensure that your personal statement stands out for all the right reasons.

Engaging Hooks for Personal Narratives

Writing engaging hooks for personal narratives is all about drawing the reader into your world from the very first sentence. Personal narratives offer a unique opportunity to share your experiences, thoughts, and feelings, making it crucial to start with a hook that captures the essence of your story. A great hook could be a vivid description of a moment, a line of dialogue that sets the scene, or an intriguing question that hints at the narrative's emotional core. These hooks work because they create a sense of immediacy, placing the reader right in the middle of the action or thought process.

Consider the following strategies for crafting compelling hooks in personal narratives:

  • Use sensory details to paint a vivid picture of the scene or moment. This could involve describing a sound, taste, or smell that is significant to your story.
  • Start with a moment of action or conflict to immediately grab the reader's attention. This could be a critical turning point in your story that raises questions or sets the tone.
  • Pose a thought-provoking question related to your narrative's theme, inviting the reader to ponder as they dive into your story. By employing these strategies, you ensure that your personal narrative begins with a hook that not only engages but also promises an emotionally rich and immersive storytelling experience .

Literary Analysis Essays: Starting with a Strong Hook

Starting with a strong hook in a literary analysis essay can be a game-changer, drawing your reader into a deep exploration of themes and characters. Using a quote from the literature you're analyzing is a classic yet effective approach. It not only shows your familiarity with the work but also sets a thematic tone right from the beginning. Alternatively, crafting a thematic statement that encapsulates the essence of the literature can intrigue readers, making them eager to see how you'll unravel these themes further.

Another powerful technique is posing a provocative question that relates directly to the literary work's themes or characters. This approach:

  • Engages readers by prompting them to think critically about the literature.
  • Serves as a bridge to the deeper analysis you will provide.
  • Indicates that your essay will offer fresh insights or perspectives. By carefully selecting a hook that resonates with the essence of the literary piece, you ensure that your essay not only captures attention but also promises a thoughtful and compelling exploration of the text.

Research Papers: Setting the Stage with Your Hook

Writing a great hook for a research paper is like laying down the first piece of a puzzle; it sets the stage for everything that follows. Unlike essays that might start with a bold claim or a provocative question, research papers require a hook that establishes both relevance and curiosity. This could be a surprising statistic that highlights the significance of your research topic, an intriguing question that your paper seeks to answer, or a brief anecdote that illustrates the real-world implications of your study. The goal is to make the reader think, "This is something I need to know more about."

Why focus on relevance and curiosity? For research papers, these two elements are crucial because:

  • Relevance assures the reader that the paper addresses an important issue or question.
  • Curiosity piques the reader's interest and motivates them to delve deeper into your research findings.

By carefully crafting a hook that balances these aspects, you ensure that your introduction not only grabs attention but also seamlessly leads into the broader context and objectives of your research. Remember, a compelling hook is your first opportunity to show the reader why your research matters and to set the tone for a persuasive and insightful paper.

Elevate Your Hooks with Samwell.ai: Start Writing Today

Crafting the perfect hook can be challenging, but Samwell.ai's AI-powered writing assistance makes it easier by offering tailored research and access to authentic sources . This ensures your hooks are not only captivating but also grounded in accurate information. With Samwell.ai, you can:

  • Effortlessly find intriguing facts or quotes to start your essay
  • Access a wide range of authentic sources for inspiration
  • Ensure your hook aligns with the overall theme and tone of your writing

Moreover, Samwell.ai's advanced plagiarism checks guarantee that your writing remains original, setting your work apart from the rest. This feature is crucial for maintaining academic integrity and fostering true creativity in your writing. Start writing with Samwell.ai today and take the first step towards crafting hooks that not only grab attention but also leave a lasting impression. With Samwell.ai, elevating your writing is just a click away.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is a good hook sentence.

A good hook sentence is the first statement in your writing designed to captivate your audience, making them eager to dive deeper into your work. It's an opening line or paragraph that grabs the reader's attention right from the start, setting the tone for everything that follows. Whether it's an intriguing question, a surprising fact, or a vivid scene, a good hook ensures that your first impression is memorable and engaging.

How do you write a catchy hook?

Writing a catchy hook involves selecting the right type of hook to engage your reader's interest from the beginning. This could be a rhetorical question to provoke thought, an anecdote for a personal touch, or a startling fact for immediate attention. The key is understanding the nuances of each type and tailoring your opening to the theme, tone, and audience of your essay. Additionally, crafting your hook after you have a clear understanding of your essay's content and direction can help ensure it's not only intriguing but also deeply connected to the essence of your writing.

How do you write a strong opening hook?

Writing a strong opening hook involves a strategic approach that aligns with the overall message and purpose of your essay. Start by choosing the right type of hook that matches the essay's goals, such as a provocative question for argumentative essays or a vivid anecdote for personal narratives. Ensure that the hook reflects the essay's tone and main ideas, and consider crafting it after you've outlined your arguments or narrative for better alignment. Experimenting with different types of hooks and drawing upon the essay's content can also enhance creativity and relevance, making your opening line a compelling gateway into your work.

What are the 5 hooks in writing?

The blog post discusses various "flavors" of hooks rather than specifying a list of five. Among the types mentioned are rhetorical questions, which provoke thought and curiosity; anecdotes, offering a personal touch; startling facts, grabbing attention with unexpectedness; quotes, lending authority and thematic depth; and thematic statements or provocative questions for literary analysis essays. These hooks serve unique purposes, appealing to different tastes and aligning with the theme, tone, and audience of your essay.

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3 Foolproof Ways to Make Your Personal Statement Memorable

good personal statement hook

By: Ryan Kelly

Since the dawn of time, there have been many different cultures and societies with various beliefs on medicine.

Ugh. Scratch that.

What exactly is ‘medicine?’ Webster’s Dictionary defines it as “the science and art dealing with the maintenance of health and the prevention, alleviation, or cure of disease.”
As the great thinker Paracelsus once said, “Medicine is not only a science, but also an art.”

Alright I’m going to have to stop us right there.

These hooks are bad - more likely found in English 101 papers than medical school personal statements. In fact, they’re inspired by my time teaching clueless freshmen how to write.

If you scoffed at these lines, then good, your instincts are spot on.

But what if I challenged you to write your own hook right now? Think you could do better? Go ahead - I’ll wait - take all the time you need:

WRITE YOUR OWN PERSONAL STATEMENT HOOK:

____________________________________________________________________________

Maybe you came up with one, maybe you didn’t. But my guess is that it wasn’t easy and that you didn’t feel satisfied.

WHY ARE PERSONAL STATEMENT HOOKS SO CHALLENGING TO WRITE?

1. getting started feels daunting..

You often don’t know where you’re going or where you’ll end up. Discussing medicine in relation to your entire life story feels impossible. No hook feels good enough for the perfect, all-encompassing essay that you envision.

“I want to talk about translational research, but I also want to mention the free clinic for the underserved. Oh, and my three weeks in Ghana. How can I tie that together with my grandma’s cancer and my brother’s mental problems? Is there a hook for all of that?”

Every year, I watch perfectionism and self-consciousness cripple pre-med writers. They “pre-write” things in their heads for weeks, maybe months, never getting anything down on the page. They ponder ways to somehow combine all the different angles or ideas they want to explore, rather than writing one solid, focused essay. They forget that the personal statement is just one element of the primary application (and the last one that admissions officers read!).

Don’t get me wrong, outlining and pre-writing are great strategies - they might help you figure out a way to callback to your hook at the end, or how to make its theme emerge throughout.

But DON’T be fooled into thinking that the muse will suddenly strike and you’ll knock the personal statement out in one brilliant sitting. Writing is a process, and most personal statements take three or four revisions. Sometimes your hook won’t even reveal itself until you’ve warmed up and word-vomited a few paragraphs.

Your hook doesn’t need to be all-encompassing (which is impossible anyway). As we’ll see, most good hooks rely on their specificity and narrowed scope.    

2. EVERY IDEA SOUNDS CLICHE. ESPECIALLY THE IDEAS THAT FEEL MOST HONEST OR AUTHENTIC.

Ever since doctors cured my grandfather’s cancer, I have wanted to pay forward that same service to other patients and their families.

Even as a child, I had medical aspirations. I remember using my toy stethoscope on my three younger siblings as we ‘played doctor.’

Family illnesses and childhood dreams are important, but they’ve become cliche due to their overuse. I’ve written about these cliches before:

THE 5 MOST OVERUSED SENTENCES IN PERSONAL STATEMENTS

3 TECHNIQUES TO AVOID SOUNDING CLICHE IN YOUR MEDICAL SCHOOL PERSONAL STATEMENT

It’s frustrating to realize that your motivations towards your life’s calling are cliche, unoriginal, run-of-the-mill. But it’s okay. Most pre-meds have similar reasons for choosing medicine (helping people + using science), so you don’t have to reinvent the wheel. You just have to make it your wheel by figuring out what makes your story/application distinct.      

3. EVERY INTRIGUING OR CREATIVE IDEA FEELS TOO RISKY. YOU’RE NOT WRITING THE NEXT EXPERIMENTAL NOVEL, AFTER ALL.

“I was thinking about comparing medicine to the ingredients and layers of a burrito. Like an extended metaphor. I could also compare the healthcare system to an open wound - that’s attention-grabbing, right?”

Okay, there is such a thing as TOO risky. Fancy extended metaphors or blatant shock value might not be the way to go.

But most of the time, pre-meds play it too safe. Playing it safe might mean straying away from “frivolous” storytelling or “tangential” information that could actually be the most memorable or unique aspect of their experiences.

Pre-meds don’t have many opportunities to write about themselves, and their academic and research experiences don’t always encourage risk-taking. They never have to worry about grabbing the reader’s attention in their lab reports. So playing it safe might also mean sticking to the expository writing that they’re accustomed to in academia (all telling, no showing).

You have to change your mindset when writing a hook.

Imagine you’re a journalist writing a feature story about your life. Or you’re writing a memoir about your pre-med journey. You need to make a good impression right away and compel the audience to continue reading. For example:

Bzzz. Bzzz. Bzzz. Our research team in the Philippines had taken every precaution. But somehow a rogue mosquito had managed to venture into the booties designed to protect my feet. When I looked down at the angry inflammation on my foot, I couldn’t believe the damage inflicted by such a tiny creature. The gruesome edema around my ankle served as a direct reminder of the mosquito-borne diseases that ravaged this community.

In general, it’s smart to open your essay with a problem, a failure, an unexpected challenge, a surprise, an ethical dilemma, an unsolved mystery, etc. All of these strategies create a “narrative question” that the reader wants answered. You might be worried about sounding too negative, but trust me, it’s okay. The conflict and tension are what make it interesting.

REGARDLESS OF THE CONTENT, HERE ARE THREE QUALITIES OF A GOOD HOOK:

1. good hooks are counterintuitive..

If something on your pre-med path has surprised you or upended your expectations, it might be a great thing to use as a hook. Chances are, it will surprise the reader too.

Cotton candy. Heavy metal music. American Ninja Warrior. Not what you’d expect to encounter in palliative care. But then I met Jimmy, a teenager with terminal cancer. A few months earlier, the words “children’s hospice” almost seemed like an oxymoron…
I’ve always been known for my sweet tooth, but I never expected that all the gummy worms and peanut butter cups would lead me to medicine. Growing up, I was resented for my lightning-fast metabolism, never gaining weight despite my sugary indulgences. On the outside I seemed healthy, but my sweet tooth had a secret cavity. At 18, I was diagnosed with secum diverticulitis and told that I had the digestional tract of a 60-year-old…

2. GOOD HOOKS ARE CONTRARIAN.

To illustrate this idea, let’s take one of our previous example hooks and make it better.

This type of narrative is expected. It could benefit from a reversal:

When my six-year-old nephew told me he wanted to be a doctor, I didn’t give him a high five or tell him “that’s awesome.” Instead, I asked, “Are you sure? That’s a pretty tough job.” I know it sounds harsh, but it’s the same question I was asked growing up. There are several doctors in our family, but they never push the career on their children. Instead, the career choice is more of an interrogation.

3. GOOD HOOKS ARE MORALLY AMBIGUOUS.

Again, let’s take one of our previous examples and make it better.

“Ever since doctors cured my grandfather’s cancer, I have wanted to pay forward that same service to other patients and their families.”

This type of narrative is too straightforward. It needs more tension and ambiguity:

I couldn’t understand my grandfather’s decision to give up. When he looked the doctor in the eye and refused treatment, my heart sank. The prognosis was grim, and he did not want to endure more chemo with such a low recovery rate. To me, the 5% was worth the agony, but I was being selfish. My family pleaded with the doctors to help change his mind, but they had to respect his decision.
It took me years to realize this was the humane thing to do.

REMEMBER THE HOOK YOU WROTE EARLIER? WITH THESE QUALITIES IN MIND, TAKE A SHOT AT REVISING IT:

Getting started can be the toughest part of the writing process, but hopefully my advice helps you jumpstart your essay with a memorable hook that feels authentic and distinct.

good personal statement hook

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All work on this site is our own. The content for the Savvy med school search was found on the webpages of the respective medical schools.

How to Write a Personal Statement – 5 Personal Statement Examples

How to write a personal statement – introduction.

The personal statement is one of the most important parts of the college application process. For this reason, it’s often also one of the most anxiety-inducing. If you’ve been searching for personal statement examples because writing your personal statement has you worried (or excited), then you’re in the right place. 

In this article, we’ll present five personal statement examples and teach you how to write a personal statement that highlights who you are and demonstrates your full potential to colleges. We’re going to outline what a personal statement is, how colleges use them in the application process, and which topics tend to work best for college applicants. Then, we’ll offer some advice and tools to help you draft, edit, and finalize your own personal statement. Finally, we’ll walk you through five personal essay examples, breaking them down individually, so you can see just what makes them work. 

Writing a personal statement may seem like a daunting task, especially if you aren’t clear on just exactly what a personal statement for college is. After you see your first personal statement example, things may seem clearer. But first, let’s demystify the term “personal statement.” 

What is a personal statement?

Learning how to write a personal statement starts with understanding the term . I’m sure throughout the college application process you’ve heard your counselors, teachers, and classmates talking about the importance of a personal statement. While you may know that the personal statement for a university is extremely important, you still might not be clear on just what it is. You may have never even seen a personal statement example. So, before you attempt to start writing , let’s answer the questions: what is a personal statement for college? And just how do universities use them to evaluate students?

A personal statement for college is your chance to set yourself apart from other students and show admissions who you are. A strong personal statement for a university will describe your unique experiences and background in a first-person narrative. And when done well, it’s your opportunity to catch the right attention of an admission officer. 

No pressure, right? Don’t stress quite yet. The process of writing a personal statement can be fun! It’s an opportunity to write about something you’re passionate about. You’ll be able to see a personal statement example later on (five, actually!), and you’ll notice that it’s not about the perfect topic , but rather, how you tell your story. 

Personal statement basics

Now, let’s talk about personal essay specifics. Generally speaking, a personal statement will be between 400-700 words, depending on the specific university guidelines or application portal. The Common App essay must be 250-650 words. The Coalition App , by contrast, suggests that students write 500-650 words.  Try to aim for the higher end of those ranges, as you’ll be hard pressed to write a compelling personal statement without enticing descriptions. 

Apart from the word count, what’s the personal statement format? The personal statement for a university should be written in a first-person conventional prose format. You may be a wonderful poet or fiction writer but refrain from using those styles in your personal statement. While using those styles in a personal essay could occasionally be a hit with admissions, it’s best to showcase that style of writing elsewhere. If you choose to add your creative writing style to your application, you should do so by submitting a writing portfolio. Generally speaking, the strongest personal statement will be written in first-person prose language. 

General or prompted

When it comes to a personal statement for college, it will generally fall into one of two categories : general, comprehensive personal statement, or a response to a very specific personal essay prompt. In the open-ended option, you’ll want to share a story about something important related to your life. This could be about family, experiences, academics, or extracurriculars . Just be careful not to repeat your entire resume. That’s certainly not the goal of a personal essay.  

Remember, it’s a personal statement. So, share something that you haven’t elsewhere. If given a prompt, it will likely be open-ended so that you can flex your creativity and show off your writing style. You’ll be able to write a story that genuinely matters to you, ideally sharing something that has made you who you are. 

You may also need a personal statement when applying to certain programs, such as business or STEM programs. The basic idea is the same, but you’ll want to connect your experiences to the specific program. Check out the details of writing a personal statement for a specific field . 

That extra push

The college application process can seem rigid at times; the personal statement for college is your chance to show off in a way that has nothing to do with GPA or transcripts. The personal statement is an opportunity for colleges to meet students on their own terms. It’s essentially your written interview . 

At top universities, many students will have similar grades and test scores. A strong personal statement gives students the chance to stand out and show that they’re more than just numbers on a transcript. What’s the extra push that an admissions officer may need to admit a qualified student? A well-written, compelling personal statement can help you gain admittance to competitive schools . 

Having a support system throughout the college admissions process is important. Keep your parents in the loop with this personal statement webinar that offers details about the common app essay and the personal essay for college. 

You are probably wondering the same things as other students about the college application essay or college essay tips. Read an admissions officer’s response to some FAQs and get some useful college essay tips. Then, put your college admissions knowledge to the test with our quiz below!

The CommonApp Essay vs. The Personal Statement

So, we’ve discussed what a personal statement is and why it matters. Now, let’s discuss one common type of personal statement: the Common App essay. While each school may have their own personal statement topics, the Common App essay section has general prompts that will serve as your personal statement. The Common App essay will respond to one of seven prompts.

For the most up-to-date information on the Common App essay, you can check their website .

Common App Essay Questions for 2022-2023:   

  • Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.
  • The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?
  • Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. What prompted your thinking? What was the outcome?
  • Reflect on something that someone has done for you that has made you happy or thankful in a surprising way. How has this gratitude affected or motivated you?
  • Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others.
  • Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more?
  • Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you’ve already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design.

Open-ended prompts

The Common App essay personal statement prompts are intentionally open-ended. They are meant to give you the chance to tell your unique story . However, one requirement is that your Common App essay must be between 250-650 words. 

You can choose to respond to any one of the seven prompts. Remember to choose the best prompt for you. It may seem obvious, but the personal statement for college is your opportunity to share your personal story. You’ll want to choose a topic you can write well about that will show how you’ve grown or changed. It’s also your opportunity to show off your writing style. So, pick a topic you enjoy writing about!

Check out some tips on how to tackle each prompt from the Common App essay blog. You may also want to read this Common App essay overview for juniors . We’ll get into more specific details later on how to write the Common App essay– and other personal statement topics in general– later in this article.

How important is a Personal Statement?

As we’ve mentioned, the personal statement is your chance to stand out in a pool of applicants. It’s an extremely important part of any college application. A personal statement for college will be a requirement of nearly every application you complete. Admissions will use your personal statement to get a sense of who you are beyond your grades and scores. So, if you want to show colleges what makes you unique, your personal statement is the place to do it. Figuring out how to write a personal statement is key to a successful application. 

Seeing what works when it comes to your personal statement for university can be a helpful first step. U.S. News breaks down the process of writing a personal statement and gives some successful personal essay examples. Reading another student’s successful personal statement example will give you an idea of what impresses admissions. It may even get you excited about writing your own personal statement for college! 

While every school will likely require some sort of personal statement, it may actually be used differently in the admissions process. How your personal statement is judged during the admissions process will depend on a school’s size, ranking, acceptance rate , and various other factors. Larger state schools will likely put the most importance on an applicant’s grades and scores while spending little time reviewing a student’s personal statement. 

Especially important at top tier schools

However, at Ivy League schools and other elite institutions, many students have the same impressive grades, scores, and extracurriculars. The personal statement allows these schools to distinguish between high-achieving students. If you’re looking at these types of institutions, then a lot of importance should be placed on writing a personal statement that is unforgettable and impresses admissions. 

So, we know that learning how to write a personal statement is key to many successful applications, but you may be thinking: what’s the difference between a personal statement and supplemental essays? Every school you apply to via the Common App will receive an identical copy of your Common App essay. The Common App essay serves as your personal statement. 

However, each school will have their own supplemental requirements, which may include additional supplemental essays . For schools with many supplemental college essay prompts, your personal essay may not have as much of an impact on your overall application. Admissions officers will see your writing style, and likely your personality, in all of the college essay prompts you submit. 

Additional personal statements

Still, you should always treat your personal essay with the utmost care. It can make a huge difference in the admissions process. You may also need to write other personal statements when applying to scholarships or specific programs . It’s good to get used to the process and the personal statement format during college application season. 

When should I start writing my Personal Statement?

When it comes to all things in the college application process, including any college application essay, it’s best to start early . Don’t leave your personal statement for a university until the last moment. Writing a personal statement will take time. The sooner you start your personal statement for college, the more likely you are to succeed. 

This doesn’t mean that you should start writing your personal statement for university the summer before your sophomore year. High school is a time for development, and colleges want to get to know you at your most mature. It’s just good practice to start thinking about how to write a personal statement early on. 

Review personal statement examples

Think about personal statement format, personal statement topics, and personal statement ideas. Look at other students’ personal statement examples. You can start jotting down potential ideas for your personal essay for college at any time, which may be useful down the line. But, you don’t need to actually start writing your personal statement until the summer before your senior year .

Be open-minded to changing your personal statement topic as you grow and discover new things about yourself. Check out this personal statement webinar on how one student switched her personal essay for college at the last moment. Just like there is no set personal statement format, there are no rules against mixing up your topic as you see fit. But, at least try to allow yourself some time to revise and edit your personal essay for college to perfection.

What do I write in a personal statement?

There’s no one-size-fits-all outline when it comes to how to write a personal statement. Your personal statement for university will depend on your own background, interests, and character. Overall, it’s not the personal statement topics that will catch the eye of admissions officers– it’s how you write your story that will. You need to know how to write a personal statement that not only checks the boxes but is also powerful . 

Important things to keep in mind when writing your personal statement: 

Choose a topic you’re passionate about.

What would you be excited to write about? Chase the personal statement topics that seem fun to write, think about, and talk about. If you’re passionate about your personal statement, your audience will feel it and be engaged. 

Really be you

Authenticity is key when it comes to writing a personal statement. After all, it’s your chance to tell your story and really show admissions who you are. Whatever you write about, make sure it is true, honest, and authentic to your experiences.

Give it some flair

Ok, we don’t mean do something too unconventional like a personal statement haiku. But, you should show off your writing style in your personal statement for college. Admissions officers want to get to know you and your writing. 

Knowing how to start a personal statement or how to start a college essay, in general, is often the most difficult part of the process. You’ll want to brainstorm some personal statement topics to get your creative juices flowing. CollegeAdvisor.com offers a masterclass on brainstorming personal statement topics for the Common App essay in case you need some help with how to start a college essay or a personal statement. 

Still have doubts? Read more on how to write a personal statement and get some college essay tips from CollegeAdvisor.com’s admissions experts. It will also be helpful to look at some successful personal essay examples and understand why they worked . Good personal statement examples can inspire you to tackle writing your own personal essay for college.  

Exploring Personal Statement Topics

It seems logical that when exploring the process of how to write a personal statement, you should start thinking about personal statement ideas. What are the best topics to write about in a personal statement? If you look at various successful personal statement examples, you’ll likely realize the topic isn’t necessarily the most important part. You don’t need to write about something that no one else has ever written about. You just need your personal statement to have its own unique spin. Lean into brainstorming personal statement ideas that show who you are. It’s helpful to read some personal statement examples for inspiration. 

While there is no exact formula for “how to write a personal statement”, there are some basic guidelines that students should follow. The personal statement should be written in first-person nonfiction prose form. Often, a personal statement introduction will include a story or an anecdote and then expand to reveal the impact of that experience on the writer. 

You may be specifically wondering how to start a personal statement. Well, it could be with a moment, a place, or a conversation that spurred some sort of change or growth within you. While this isn’t necessarily a “personal statement format,” it’s a very general format that works. 

Things to avoid

We now know that the personal statement format is fluid, but there are some things to avoid when thinking about how to write a personal statement: 

  • Profanity, explicit content, or crude language. 
  • Lying or misinterpreting events. Keep it authentic. 
  • Sharing overly personal descriptions of troubling life experiences. Remember that applying to college requires professional boundaries. 
  • Writing a narrative that revolves around others. The personal statement is all about you and your experiences. 

If you want to know what a bad personal statement example would look like, imagine one that includes any of the formerly listed items. You don’t want to catch an admissions officer’s attention for the wrong reasons. Good personal statement examples will be engaging, but inoffensive. Check out some more do’s and don’ts when it comes to how to write a personal statement.   

When pondering “how to write a personal statement,” it’s good to know that you don’t need to follow conventional essay guidelines. The best personal statement examples will exude passion and professionalism, while a bad personal statement example will lack soul. If you’re excited about a topic, then that’s a great place to start! Now, let’s get into the actual writing. 

How do you write a good Personal Statement?

To review, in the first part of this series of three articles on how to write a personal statement we answered the question “What is a personal statement?” We also explained how schools use a student’s personal statement for college to evaluate them. We described the Common App essay as an example of a personal statement for a university. Next, let’s dig into how to write a personal statement, including how to start a personal statement, the best tips for writing a personal statement, and some good personal statement examples and personal essay examples to inspire you.

First, you have probably wondered how to write a personal statement that stands out from the rest. It all comes down to one thing: authenticity. The best personal statement examples and personal essay examples show schools what makes the writer unique, and they are written in an authentic voice. When giving advice about how to write a personal statement, admissions officers say that the best personal statement examples tell them who the student is beyond their coursework and grades. They are personal, and they tell a unique and interesting story.

Considering Personal Statement topics

So, as you think about how to write a personal statement, you may also wonder what the best personal statement topics are. When writing a personal statement, including the Common App essay, you don’t have to share an exciting story about the time you wrestled a wild bear or how you discovered a cure for cancer. For example, in their advice on how to write a personal statement, Wellesley College advises , “Tragedy is not a requirement, reflection and depth are.” 

Some of the best personal statement topics focus on insights about common experiences. Begin your brainstorming process by reviewing the list of Common App essay prompts as you think about writing a personal statement, and choose a story that genuinely matters to you. Then, get excited about telling it! Think about writing a personal statement, including the Common App essay and every other personal essay for college, as an opportunity to lean into your quirkiness or to share your unique insights.

What’s more, a good personal statement for a university should be well-written. Consider the advice offered by Purdue Online Writing Lab : “Be specific, write well and correctly, and avoid cliches.” This will take time—writing a good personal statement for a university or a good Common App essay doesn’t happen overnight. The process of writing a personal statement will include multiple sessions between the first phase of brainstorming and the final phase of editing. Be prepared to write and rewrite, and never hesitate to ask for help from an advisor, counselor, parent, or trusted adult. However, remember that your work should always be your own.

Now, let’s discuss how to start a personal statement.

How do you start a personal statement?

So, now you have the basic information on how to write a personal statement, including your Common App essay. Next, you’re probably asking, “But how do you start one?” In this section, we’ll break down the process of exploring personal statement ideas and how to start a personal statement. This information also applies to thinking about how to start a college essay. Then, we’ll discuss how to write a personal statement opening.

Brainstorming is usually the first phase of any writing project to generate personal statement ideas. You may want to read a personal statement example like those here or here for inspiration to help get your personal statement ideas flowing. Next, ask yourself some idea-generating questions : Who have your intellectual influences been?  Which careers are you considering and why? What personal goals do you have? As you think about the answers to these typical college essay prompts, jot down personal statement ideas that occur to you. If you’re still feeling stuck, ask a close friend or family member , “What do you think differentiates me?,” or “What are my quirks?”

Pick a topic that excites you

Then, once you have a few good topics for your personal statement, choose one that you feel most excited to write about. Write a draft of your personal statement introduction and see what other ideas occur to you for later parts of your essay. Choose another topic and do the same thing. Don’t feel like these initial drafts need to be perfect—words on the page are always a great start! The goal right now is to decide which personal statement topics you feel most inspired to write about. Which ideas reflect something interesting about you ? 

Once you have selected which topic you will focus on for your personal statement, Common App essay, or personal essay for college, think about crafting a strong hook. The opening line (or lines) of the best personal statement examples include a “hook” for the reader, grabbing their attention and making them want to keep reading. For example, you could start with a question, an unusual or surprising statement, or an anecdote that will leave readers wondering what comes next. Whichever approach you select when considering how to start a college essay, make sure to use engaging language and vivid imagery.

Remember, start early and write several drafts .

The personal statement is an opportunity to write about a topic that is important to you and that also reflects your personality . Now, let’s discuss the personal statement format.

How do you format a personal statement?

Different applications may require different approaches to your personal statement format. In some cases, you may copy and paste your personal statement into an application and it will format itself automatically. In other situations, you will need to set up your personal statement format yourself. If this is the case, Times New Roman font, 12-point, with conventional margins and double spacing is a safe personal statement format.

When you are submitting your personal statement or Common App essay through the Common App, you may notice that the Common Application text box only allows formatting for bold, italics, and underlining. Therefore, it’s best to write your personal statement in Google Docs or Word and to write your paragraphs with block formatting (not indented). In addition, using Google Docs or Word will also allow you to easily check spelling and word counts before pasting your personal statement into the Common App.

Editing your Personal Statement

Many students wonder what the editing process for their personal statement for college, including the Common App essay and other personal essays for college, should look like. This varies by student and by essay. But, the best personal statements for a university go through at least several rounds of edits.

Firstly, once you have written the first draft of your personal statement for a university or personal essay for college, take a step back for a few hours or even for a day. Then, return with fresh eyes. Is your narrative well organized? Are there sections that seem unclear, ideas that don’t support your main point, or awkward sentences? You may want to reorder your paragraphs or sentences or delete and rework other elements. Revisit a personal statement example and consider how it is organized for comparison. 

Making the cut

In short, don’t be afraid to cut sentences that don’t directly relate to the main focus of the essay or convey some important detail of the story. This will help clarify your narrative. Also, make sure that you have centered your writing around your own experiences—the story should reflect your perspective and insights.

Next, once you are confident that your personal statement is well organized and your main ideas are clear, do another round of detailed editing. Eliminate any typos or repetitive language; make sure you have proper grammar and spelling throughout.

Finally, ask a trusted adult to read your personal statement and provide feedback. Something that you thought was clear may not be to them. Also, ask them how engaging your personal statement is, and if there are sections that seem dry or unimportant. Ask whether your hook is effective, and review tips on how to start a personal statement if necessary. Sometimes feedback can be difficult to hear, but it helps to remember that even professional writers seek input from others. The goal is to create the best personal statement possible!

For more detailed advice on revising your personal statement, check out this CollegeAdvisor personal statement webinar, “ Revising the Personal Statement .”

How do I know when my personal statement is done?

There’s no definitive way to know when your personal statement for a university is done—you can keep editing most writing forever. However, as you revise and edit, you’ll notice that you have fewer things to fix with every new draft. Once you feel like there’s nothing major left to change, get feedback from someone you trust. 

Your College Advisor expert can also provide valuable feedback and guidance at this point. If the notes and suggestions from others are also limited, you may be nearly ready to finalize your personal statement for college and press “submit.”

6 Tips for Writing a Great Personal Statement 

1. be authentic.

Remember, admissions officers want to know about you —your personality, your interests, your goals. A great personal statement is personal . Your personal statement for a university needs to express your unique ideas and insights in your own voice. Nobody can tell your story better than you. So, choose a topic that interests you and let your energy and ideas shine through.

Being personal also means that you should share sensory details and your internal dialogue. What did you see or hear at a critical moment? What were you thinking or feeling during that pivotal conversation? The more personal details you share, the more interesting your personal statement will be.

2. Start early

This is one of the most important tips on how to write a personal statement. You can start brainstorming topics for your personal statement at any time during high school. Some students keep a notebook where they write down personal statement topics and ideas as they occur to them over time. They also begin reading other good personal statement examples and Common App essays for inspiration. 

Regardless, a good plan is to solidify a draft of your personal statement for college the summer before your senior year. This will give you time to work on supplemental essays and other parts of your applications during the fall of your senior year.

3. Brainstorm before you write

Take some time to think and reflect deeply before you begin writing. Don’t feel like you need to jump into a full essay draft as soon as you complete your junior year. Do some writing exercises and brainstorming activities first, including reading other personal statement examples. 

In each personal statement example you read, pay close attention to the personal statement introduction, the narrative arc, and the conclusion. Did the writer incorporate an effective technique for how to start a college essay? Why is the essay interesting? What does it tell you about the writer? 

4. Tell a story

Keep in mind that well-told stories have a beginning, a middle, and an end. They also engage the reader and arrive at a clear message or point by the end. In short, the best personal statement examples follow a narrative arc. 

Start with an interesting hook and use it as an introduction to a story from your life that addresses the given college essay prompt. Then, use the latter half of your personal statement or Common App essay to show why this story matters and how it reveals a key part of your identity. And always remember: show, don’t tell.

5. Avoid common mistakes

Steer clear of cliches in your writing—they do not help you stand out or demonstrate strong writing skills. Also, do not use your personal statement or Common App essay as an opportunity to rehash your activities or achievements. Remember, these are included in other parts of your application. 

The best personal statement examples show admission officers something about the writer that is not reflected in other parts of the application. They describe first-hand experiences and provide specific examples to illustrate ideas.

6. Edit carefully

Once you’ve written your personal statement for college, look for anything that doesn’t feel right. Eliminate awkward phrasing, delete or replace repeated words and phrases, and work to streamline your language. You might delete entire drafts, and that’s okay! It’s a process, and all the work you do gets you closer to your best work. Also, make sure to ask a few others whom you trust to read your essay and provide suggestions for edits.

Bonus tip: Ask for help

A second set of eyes can make a huge difference. Ask an advisor (like our team at CollegeAdvisor.com), counselor, or parent to look over your work. Don’t let anyone write your sentences for you—instead, use their input to help your voice shine through. 

For more great college essay tips on how to write a personal statement and college essays, check out this advice from college admission experts.

Personal Statement- Frequently Asked Questions

Where can i find a good personal statement example.

There are a variety of websites that offer good personal essay examples as models you can use to inspire you. A good place to begin is here , and there are also examples of personal statements in the next article of this series. As you read these examples, take note of the personal statement introduction, as well as how the writer focuses the essay on a specific topic or idea that reflects their personality.

Is it ever too late to change my personal statement?

While it is much better to begin writing your personal statement early, sometimes students decide later in the writing process that they want to rethink the personal statement topic they have chosen. If you find yourself in this position, you will find some helpful advice in this CommonApplicant.com personal statement webinar . 

My parents didn’t go to college. How do I explain personal statements and how to write a personal statement to them?

CollegeAdvisor.com has created a special personal statement webinar just for parents. In this webinar, we describe personal statements, the specifics of how to write a great college essay, and other college admissions terms.

I’m a high school junior. What should I be doing now to prepare to write my personal statement and college essays?

First, congratulations on thinking ahead! You can begin by reading “ Common App Essay Overview for Juniors .” Then, your CollegeAdvisor admissions expert can help you begin brainstorming and planning for your college application essays. They can provide you with examples of common college essay prompts, as well as helpful college essay tips. Also, they can provide suggestions on how to start a personal statement and share other resources on how to write a great college essay.

How will college admission officers evaluate my personal statement and college application essay?

Admission officers are looking for personal stories that are well told. How closely each of your college application essays is read will vary depending both on the school and the other components of your application. However, as more schools become test-optional, admission officers say that college essays are becoming even more important in the admissions process. So, as you plan your essays keep in mind that admission officers want to learn about you —your experiences, thoughts, and goals. They also want to see that you have solid writing skills, so make sure that you closely edit your essays before you submit them.

If you would like to hear directly from an admission officer and learn more about how to write a great college essay, including specific advice on how to start a college essay, check out this “ 39 Essay Tips ” article.

How is the personal statement for a university different from the Common App essay and personal essay for college? 

The Common App essay asks students to write a personal statement in response to one of seven provided prompts. All types of personal essays for college provide students with an opportunity to introduce themselves to college admission officers on their own terms. For a more detailed description of each of these types of essays, check out the first article in this series, “How to Write a Personal Statement.”

For answers to more frequently asked questions about personal statements for college and college essays, click here .

In the first part of this series discussing how to write a personal statement, we answered the questions “What is a personal statement?” and “How important is the personal statement?” In this second article of the series, we have covered the specifics of how to write a personal statement, including descriptions of the writing phases of the personal statement and personal essay for the college writing process. In the next article, we will examine personal statement examples and highlight key elements of each personal statement example. 

Introducing 5 Personal Statement Examples

By this point, you’ve gone from asking, “What is a personal statement?” to knowing how to write a personal statement. Now, let’s look at some personal statement examples. Reading personal statement examples is great preparation for writing your own personal statement for college.

However, keep in mind that reading about how to write a personal statement is one thing–writing a personal statement is entirely different. By reading these personal statement examples and why they worked, you’ll have a better grasp of how to write a personal statement.

Each of these personal statement examples shows something that isn’t clear in the rest of the application. Top schools accepted all the writers of these personal statement examples. Our guide will walk you through each of these personal essay examples and discuss what makes them work. We hope by reading these, you can learn more about how to write a personal statement.

Personal Statement Example #1: Choosing a Great Topic

The first of our personal statement examples was written by a student who was accepted to Yale, Princeton, and other top schools. Their personal statement discusses the legacy of antisemitic violence in their family. While political and religious topics can be difficult, this student writes a fantastic college application essay about their topic.

Personal Essay Example #1

Across the ocean, there is war. Children mistaking rockets for fireworks, parents too protective—too careful—to correct them.          Back home, there are phone calls. To family, to friends. In English, in Hebrew.          “Are you safe?”         I pray they live far from Jerusalem.          Right here, in my room, there is turmoil.          Furiously swiping through Instagram, I wonder who will betray me next. I wonder which friend will decide that their loosely related, offensive commentary belongs on their profile.          Once the deed is done, I am quick to unfollow. To cut off perpetrators of what Jewish journalists call “the Social Media Pogrom”: when targeting the Jewish people online turns to real antisemitic violence (and a powerful reason to unfollow my friends).          So I flee from my friends’ Instagram accounts. But only because my family fled from much worse.          My grandfather found himself wearing a yellow star, living in a ghetto, and losing everything to the Nazis. One day, he ripped off the star and ran. Even though it meant never seeing his family again.          He did not flee for a better life; he fled for any life.          His son came to marry another refugee: my mother. Her story is a familiar one, shared by many in my hometown: escaping yet another antisemitic regime whose existence threatened her own, my mother fled Revolutionary Iran in 1979. Fortunately, she was reunited years later with all eight of her siblings, who had escaped in various other creative, illegal ways—“on camelback” being a personal favorite.           To this day, she bears a scar on her eyelid from antisemitic violence back home.          My family tree’s roots are settled in the soil of persecution. Swastikas have sawed away at its structure, and Revolutionary Guards have bent its branches. I know too well which winds will threaten the leaves: words wishing my people death, implicitly or explicitly. Calling on my cousins to evacuate their homes, for they are on the Jewish side of the land dispute. Denying the reality that no one deserves to be displaced.         When I hear these words, see them on a screen, I sense a chillingly familiar breeze. Sometimes, the breeze blows away a few leaves: a rabbi is stabbed, a synagogue vandalized.          Suddenly my friends, teetering on the edge of antisemitism with waves of painful posts, are no longer my friends. They are my enemies.          But then I hear a little voice:         “David, what on Earth are you doing?”         And I remember that they are not. They are not Nazis or Revolutionary Guards. I should not shun them or cease to show them love. I cannot wallow in my rage or simply “unfollow”—not on Instagram, not in life.          I soon return those beloved friends to my circle. I “follow” them once again.         Because dialogue is my lifestyle. I ought to be recruiting my friends to Model Congress or engaging them in class. Welcoming the people around me to a world of positive, exciting, and purposeful discourse is the best I can do. It’s also who I am.          My family passed down a sensitive radar for harmful rhetoric, but also gifted me with a powerful belief—a Jewish belief—in informed discussion and coexistence. Holding no hate in their hearts, my ancestors wore lenses of love that did not belong to their oppressors.         Today, I wear those same lenses with pride. Once infuriating Instagram posts no longer cloud my vision. I’ve instead fallen in love with the precious diversity of thought that surrounds me and find myself most at home when I am immersed in political dialogue.          I will face many “enemy” opinions, but I will not shut my eyes and cover my ears, give up a dear human connection, and miss out on a meaningful experience.            I will approach individuals with humanity rather than animosity, acceptance rather than judgement, and love rather than hate.          I will live by the lessons of my ancestors. 

What Worked?

What did this Common App essay do well? Firstly, it covers a great topic. This student writes about their family’s experience with antisemitic violence and its legacy in their life today. When writing a personal statement for college, such sensitive personal statement topics can be challenging. In this case, the writer successfully centers their experiences and thoughts rather than on controversial events.

Moreover, they cut through political tension with a core reality rooted in empathy: “No one deserves to be displaced.” This is a great strategy if you’re wondering how to write a personal statement on a sensitive topic. All personal statement topics have an angle that makes them universally relatable. If your personal essay for college is missing something, try an empathetic approach.

Ask for help revising

Don’t forget to ask other people to revise your personal statement for university. What makes sense to you may not read well to others. Especially with sensitive topics, share your work with someone you can trust to give you feedback. If possible, also include a non-family member like a teacher or guidance counselor who knows how to write a personal statement.

This student connects their family’s troubles with their own worldview. Good personal statement examples offer a look at the author as a person. A strong topic lets you reflect on how your experiences have impacted your engagement with the world and other people. And as shown above, the writer chose a great topic –not necessarily a great college essay prompt. College essay prompts are wide-ranging , and good personal statement ideas can come from any of them. Indeed, whatever your prompt is, personal essay examples are ultimately about you . 

Evocative language and imagery

With this in mind, look at how the writer’s attitude changes throughout their Common App essay. Good personal statement examples contain precise, evocative language and imagery. When you’re writing a personal statement, find the right words—not necessarily the longest ones—and sentence structures you need. This personal statement begins in a panic; the writer “furiously swiping” in the “turmoil” of their room, keenly attuned to betrayal from friends. These words and the short paragraphs bring each thought into sharp focus.

The writer’s passion for their subject shows through their language. Using structural repetition in “Wishing…. Calling…. Denying…” establishes a serious tone and keeps the personal statement fresh. In the latter half, words like “beloved,” “lenses of love,” and “precious diversity” signify a shift to a gentle, loving attitude. The best personal essay examples choose their words precisely. By choosing words carefully in combination with poetic and rhetorical devices, you can write a stellar personal statement for university.

Certainly, family histories can be great personal statement topics. Even so, suffering doesn’t automatically make a strong personal statement for university. If you know how to write a personal statement, even at first mundane personal statement ideas can become good personal statement examples.

Personal Statement Example #2: Finding a Great Hook

The second of our personal statement examples is by a student who was accepted to UC San Diego, Johns Hopkins, the University of Pennsylvania, Vanderbilt University, and more. In their personal statement for college, this student uses their interest in Rubik’s cubes to frame other parts of their life.

Personal Statement Example #2

My life is as simple as a Rubik’s Cube: a child’s toy that can be solved in 20 moves or less IF and only if enough knowledge is gained. I received one on my 9th birthday and over the following months, I became obsessed with it.  I rotated the rows aimlessly, hoping that eventually the cube would solve itself. I was naive about the complexity of the cube which led me to apply some research. I began looking up tutorials on YouTube about solving the toy and was in awe over the amount of work that had to be done. I forced myself to go step by step until I could arrange a single face, and my progress pushed me forward until I could solve 4 of the 6 faces of the cube. Every night for an hour I would randomize the colors again and work my way back to ⅔ of the cube being complete. Until this point, I lacked the confidence in my everyday life and had never aimed for a difficult goal, especially one without external motivation. However, what I love about solving the cube is that you can follow the steps perfectly and still run into a stalemate based on the arrangement of the squares. This forces you to randomize the cube again and start from step 1. All the hard work and time put into this object can be useless, but it is unavoidable no matter what you do. Multiple times I faced this dilemma of running into a wall, but instead of giving up, my will pushed me forward. I shed many tears over my failures to solve a child’s toy. I needed to push through these failures until I could learn how to arrange the last faces of the cube. And just like that, it was complete! The Rubik’s Cube was arranged correctly. However, I wanted to get faster. I was inspired by the greatest, the individuals who could solve cubes within 5 seconds, and mix up the cube once more. I tried over and over until the point of obsession where I could get the cube arranged in under a minute. Sometimes it is necessary to disarrange a completed face of the cube in order to achieve the end goal of every face being complete. The colors of a cube can be compared to my academics, my athletics, my art, my leadership, my hobbies, and my family life. Though it is a struggle to juggle all these tasks, it is the desire to expand in all these subjects that pushes me forward. I want to learn more and master subjects within my academics, improve my form and get faster within my athletics, grow my skills of digital design within art, become a stronger role model as a leader, volunteer more within my hobbies, and get closer to supporting my family.  This mindset will continue to push me to expand my present knowledge and learn new concepts in order to complete my goals. 43,252,003,274,489,856,000: That is how many combinations there are for a single 3×3 Rubik’s cube, and there are probably even more combinations ahead of me in my journey through college and beyond. I have to struggle to learn how to solve my cube and put in the hard work in order to succeed at this game of life. Once I finish school and solve my cube for the first time, the game is not over. The next steps are to refine my work and ethics until I can get the process of solving my own cube down to 20 moves or less. My life goal is to carve a name for myself among the best and the brightest in the surgical field, yet there is always more knowledge to obtain which will drive me to continue growing.

Take a look at that hook! The classic personal statement format begins with a hook to draw the reader into a story, and this is no different. This personal statement introduction, “My life is as simple as a Rubik’s cube”, is bold, even seemingly contradictory, until you read the rest of the sentence. Either way, it makes you want to keep reading this personal statement example. 

The worst thing a personal statement for a university can be is boring. A good hook starts your reader off on the right foot. While many personal statement examples begin in the middle of a story, making a bold claim is also common. If you’re wondering how to start a personal statement, start thinking about what opening sentence would grab your attention.

Like the first essay’s writer, this student also uses descriptive language to bring their Common App essay to life. They didn’t simply try the Rubik’s cube, but they “rotated the rows aimlessly”. Rather than saying they kept working on the cube, the writer shows us how they scrambled and resolved it every night. When writing a personal statement, do your own experiences justice with the right descriptive language .

Thinking about tone

You may notice the tone of this personal essay example is very different from the first– intensity isn’t everything! In fact, it’s a reflection of the different subject matter of these personal essay examples. When writing your personal statement, your tone should match what you are trying to say. In the same way that one word can make a sentence, another can totally break it. 

From a vivid description of their childhood, the writer expands the scope of their Common App essay to other areas of their life. Good personal statement examples explore subjects that other parts of your application don’t. In this case, this student uses the Rubik’s cube to represent their varied activities and their aspirations for each. They also reflect on life lessons and personal traits: perseverance, ambition, and curiosity.

In other words, the writer creates parallels between their interest in Rubik’s cubes and their personal journey. In the same way that they obsess over speed-solving, the writer works to excel in other subjects. Furthermore, the writer shows us this instead of directly telling — a maneuver fundamental to all good personal statement examples. The writer makes a compelling case as not only an applicant but also as a future member of the campus community. 

Consider chronology

Notice the chronological structure this student uses for their Common App essay. Specifically, see how it follows the writer’s life from their first Rubik’s cube to the present day. This is a simple way to craft a strong Common App essay. Personal essay examples like this make it easy to reflect on your growth, which is crucial for any personal statement for college. Lastly, by ending with the 20 moves needed to solve a cube, the writer neatly ties up this personal statement example.

Personal Statement Example #3: The Value of a Great Ending

The third of our personal statement examples is by a student who got into the University of Michigan-Ann Arbor, Carnegie Mellon, and the University of Southern California. The writer talks about how being on the swim team helped them cultivate confidence.

Personal Essay Example #3

When I joined the high school swim team, I never expected to go to school dressed as Shrek. Yet as Freshman Friday approached, I learned it was team tradition for upperclassmen swimmers to dress freshmen teammates in ridiculous costumes. Against my will, my teammates splotched green paint on my face, styled my hair into pigtails covered in green paper, and stuffed a pillow under my sweatshirt. Attending my classes was mortifying. With every stare, I buried my head further into my textbook and shifted my hand to cover my green and now bright red face; with every chuckle, I sank deeper into my seat, attempting to hide my massive pillow stomach. The frown on my face felt like a permanent fixture, and after dealing with the humiliation for a class period, I was done. I yanked the pillow out of my sweatshirt and ripped the paper from my hair. The only hint of swamp ogre that remained was the green face paint. When confronted about my lack of Shrek-ness at the end of the day, I claimed I was overheating and that the paper had fallen apart.  I lied. I was just embarrassed. I always knew I was shy — the “too-timid-to-signal-the-waiter” type of shy — but until Freshman Friday, I hadn’t realized the extent to which it affected the social and academic aspects of my life. Ever since I was young, my jaw would clench at the thought of humiliating myself by deviating from the norm and bringing attention to myself. I often closed myself off from friends by diverting conversations to trivial topics like gym class when they probed me about deeper subjects like my mental health. I even avoided participating in class by scouring Google for hours for physics help to circumvent admitting to my classmates that I was confused by asking questions. By hiding in the shadows to avoid embarrassment, I hindered my ability to cherish the humor in being Shrek, and, more broadly, my comfort in freely expressing myself.  However, I loved swimming and wanted to make my high school team’s environment as wonderful for me as my love for the sport. I slowly started creeping out of my shell, meeting the team, and participating in more voluntary dress-up days. Freshman year, I wore a dragon onesie on pajama day; sophomore year, I wore a Hawaiian shirt, a lei, and sunscreen for tacky tourist day. Junior year, I wore my swimsuit over leggings, goggles, medals, pigtails with award ribbons, and a towel cape, finally surpassing the ridiculousness of the Shrek costume. For the first time, I finally felt confident enough to prance around the school, laughing about my costume with my classmates. I felt like a true part of my team, joking with teammates, taking pictures, and letting the whole school know that I swam. With each year and its dress-up days, I gradually felt more of the sense of community, team spirit, and fun that I had craved.  Dressing up unleashed my confidence. This, in turn, made me happier and more involved in my school community. Most surprisingly, though, was how dressing up eventually better prepared me to enter engineering. Hispanic women are severely underrepresented in engineering, so I used to fear that I would be incapable of establishing a strong enough presence and earning my peers’ respect for my ideas. However, with every group discussion I initiated, every question I asked, and every club meeting I hosted, I saw myself making a place for my input and noticed that my teachers and peers actually valued it. I realized that I had found my voice and even enjoyed sharing my opinions. I’m now ready to take on the challenge of expressing my thoughts in a male-dominated field. In the meantime, I’m just looking forward to my swim team’s next dress-up day.

Like our last essay, this personal statement has an awesome hook. In fact, the writer drops us right into the action. This technique, known as in media res , is great for a Common App essay. You can immediately set the scene for your reader, then build context from there. Not only does the writer bring us right in, but they also expertly use language for tone. “Ridiculous,” “against my will,” and “splotched” all illustrate the writer’s opposition to what’s about to happen. This is an effective technique in personal statement examples.

Following the anecdote, the writer reflects on their intense shyness. They show self-awareness by recounting specific instances where fear got the better of them. Yet again, we can see the importance of showing rather than telling in a personal statement. Each sentence provides an example of how the writer’s shyness had a negative impact on their social and academic success. Thus, we see the true conflict in this personal statement isn’t the costume, but the writer overcoming their lifelong shyness. 

Personal growth and development

Ask anyone how to write a personal statement and they’ll tell you about growth. When writing a personal statement for university, demonstrating personal growth and an ability to reflect on it is key. Across college essay prompts, you should explore how your experiences have shaped or changed you. Being able to indicate specific causes and effects is part of all good personal statement examples.

From there, the writer clearly illustrates their journey from insecurity to confidence. They show us the ways that their shyness manifested before. Then, the writer shows us the increasingly ridiculous costumes they wore. Of course, the language changes, too—the writer goes from “creeping” to “prancing”! Yet another example of how small changes to wording can have a huge impact on your personal statement for college.

Finally, the writer provides a sound conclusion. They mention the numerous benefits of their newfound confidence and, more importantly, look forward. In the final paragraph, the writer takes the lessons they’ve learned and discusses how they will use them to accomplish their goals. Like both of the personal essay examples we’ve already seen, the writer closes by talking about the doors they want to open.

Circling back to your hook

We saw the effectiveness of linking the hook and closing paragraph in previous personal statement examples. Similarly, this personal statement example ends with the idea of dress-up day once again. This kind of personal statement format helps bring everything full circle. In learning about how to write a personal statement, the conclusion is one of the most important parts. Especially in chronologically structured personal statements, closing the loop in this way makes your personal statement feel complete .

The best personal statement examples have a well-written conclusion. Taking your personal statement ideas and addressing them neatly in the conclusion is important. Whether you explain particular future goals or simply affirm your personal values, you should have a future-facing closer. Colleges want to know not only how you’ve grown, but also how you will bring that growth to campus. 

Personal Statement Example #4: Why This Essay Worked

Fourth on our list of personal statement examples is by a writer who applied to performing arts programs. This student wrote about their love for the performing arts and their heritage. They were accepted to schools like NYU Tisch, Point Park, and Roosevelt University. Look for the college essay tips we already mentioned in the personal statement below.

Common App Essay Example #4

At six years old, most kids I know get excited to help Blue find clues or recite Elmo’s songs on Sesame Street. So you can imagine my family’s surprise when they saw me ignoring the other kids to go belt alongside my grandfather’s mariachi trio in the backyard. Growing up, I had always loved performing for people. But my passion for performing in front of a packed house never compared to performing for my favorite audience: my great grandmother. From age seven to twelve, my dad would take our family on a three-hour road trip to visit my great grandmother’s nursing home every single weekend. I remember the clean, antiseptic smell, and the beeping of her oxygen concentrator as I perched myself next to her bed and sang all types of songs from romantic boleros to earwormy Disney tunes. Even as she began failing to recognize her loved ones due to her worsening Alzheimer’s, she would always remember me, her “palomita blanca,” or white dove. But as I got older, singing what once were innocent songs, like “Edelweiss” or “Almost There,” started to make me feel like an imposter. I knew I belonged on stage, but I never saw any Mexican representation in any of my favorite musicals and animated cartoons. By seventh grade, I was plucking away at my full eyebrows for community theatre the night before auditions because I was told it would give me a better chance at landing a lead role. When my great grandmother passed away, I had lost the person who constantly reminded me how powerful staying true to your identity is. Without her, I questioned whether I had a chance at pursuing the thing that lights my soul aflame. But I stuck through the late nights, sprained ankles, and endless sweating under stage lights, because I loved theatre more than anything else in the world. In my freshman year, I joined the Conservatory of the Arts program for dance and drama at my high school. After my first show, I remember feeling so comforted by the fact that I finally felt that I belonged in the theatre kid community. In sophomore year, I finally got my first lead role as Gertrude in my high school’s production of Seussical. At last! All of my hard work had paid off and I was going to be a lead after six years of ensembles. I was so excited to get the chance to show myself and the world that my identity was my power. I didn’t want to be any old Gertrude. I’d stay up until 2 a.m. on weekends coming up with ways to make her more memorable. Inspired by Juan Gabriel’s emotional ballads, I added vocal cry to Gertrude’s solos to better portray her insecurities. Instead of sticking to just belting in “All For You,” I sang runs similar to the high energy mariachi songs I grew up with to show off my character’s passion and newfound confidence. But in March 2020, the world stopped, and the show couldn’t go on. Distanced learning made the performing arts programs nowhere near as fun or educational as they used to be. Still though, as president of the drama program in 2021, I am determined to rebuild a community that was torn apart by a worldwide pandemic. I want to be the mentor I never had. My confidence in my identity has been an important tool in teaching others that practice doesn’t make perfect, it makes progress. I work hard encouraging others not to be afraid to show the world what they have. Musical theatre is an art that thrives with innovation, so I’d like to bring the creative spice which my culture has enriched me with to the world’s stage. Maybe someday I can be that actress on stage or TV that’ll get a little Latina girl enthralled by the arts.

In this personal essay example, the writer uses vivid storytelling to show how they became the person they are today. Firstly, the hook tells us how the writer values both performance and her family. This light, fun personal statement introduction quickly goes for the heartstrings by introducing the writer’s great-grandmother. Personal statement examples sometimes avoid talking about family, because it’s easy to lose focus on the writer. But this writer never loses sight of their own memories, emotions, and experiences.

Equally important, those experiences are well-illustrated with rich imagery that clearly conveys the writer’s passion for their topic. Details like the smell and sound of the nursing home bring us into the moment. The writer also provides some examples of what they endured in theatre: “late nights” and “sprained ankles.” Use concrete images to get your personal statement ideas across with impact .

Also, the writer makes a point to explore the intersections of their Hispanic heritage and their passion for theatre. Particularly, the writer discusses their difficulty in putting them together, as shown by plucking their eyebrows. By establishing this conflict in the middle of her personal statement, the writer indicates their awareness of the wider world and their place in it. Many good personal statement examples will create context like this, showing the author thinking beyond themselves.

Show commitment to your topic

Broadly, the writer discusses their twin passions with powerful language and imagery. Exhibiting genuine enthusiasm for your personal statement topics is key. This personal statement shows that the writer has always been moved by their family and by the arts. Their triumph in combining the two feels huge precisely because we understand how much each of these things mean to them. Even if your personal statement topics aren’t as deep-seeded as this writer’s, you should show commitment to what you’re writing about.

If you’re reading this, COVID probably disrupted your school life at some point, as it did for this student. However, be careful not to linger on it more than necessary. This writer doesn’t completely gloss over the pandemic, but they keep their own journey at the center of the personal statement. The writer’s experience with distanced learning propelled them forward. Ideally, your personal statement for the university should keep a tight focus on you. The narrative personal statement format should show not only your experiences but also what you’ve learned from them.

Personal Statement Example #5: Pulling It All Together

The fifth and last of our personal statement examples is by another student who got into several top schools. They write about their participation and leadership at a club event. Keep an eye out for all the tips we’ve mentioned, from a good hook to showing-not-telling.

Personal Statement #5

One hundred and fifty bagels, all completely frozen. I couldn’t believe it. My school’s Model UN Conference was to start in thirty minutes, and breakfast for the delegates was nowhere near ready. I looked with dismay at my friends’ concerned faces peering out from behind piles of frozen bagels. As Secretary-General, it was my job to ensure that this conference went smoothly. However, it seemed that was not going to be the case. I took a moment to weigh my options before instructing Hannah, our “logistics coordinator,” to heat up the frozen circles of doom in the home-ec room. I knew Hannah enjoyed baking, so I trusted her to find a way into the locked room and thaw the assortment of bagels.  Cold bagels were not the only thing weighing heavily on my mind that morning. As I walked from classroom to classroom helping set up committees, I couldn’t help but feel nervous. Our conference wasn’t going to be like those of the private schools- there were no engraved pens or stylish water bottles. Instead, people got post-it notes and whatever pens we could steal from the supply closet. Forcing myself to stop worrying, I chose instead to think of why we made that choice. Since most of the food was donated, and all of the supplies had been “borrowed” from the supply closet, we could afford to charge only a nominal fee to everyone attending. Making Model UN accessible was one of my top priorities as Secretary-General; the same desire motivated me to begin including middle school students in the club. I hurried back down to the cafeteria, and was relieved to see that all the bagels looked warm and ready to eat.  The bagels would not be the sole crisis that day. As debates were about to start, one of the Chairs sent me a panic stricken text: “We only have 5 people in our committee! We can’t reenact the creation of the Treaty of Versailles!” I hurried to where his debate was taking place, and sure enough, only five people were there. I quickly considered my options- cancel the committee?  Convince some delegates to switch into this debate through bagel bribery? Or maybe, come up with a completely new topic?  I settled on idea number three. But what topic could a committee of only five people spend a day discussing? I mulled it over until an idea began to form. I explained to the room, “Each one of you will represent one of the five major Democratic and Republican presidential candidates. The chair will guide you as you tweet, make campaign videos, and debate the most important political issues.” I spent a few minutes figuring out how to go about moderating such an unconventional committee, before heading off to check in on the other debates.  As I walked from committee to committee, fixing problems and helping move debates along, I felt a sense of pride. I had spent months working on this conference, along with the other members of my team. At times, I worried I could never pull it off. A part of me had wished our faculty advisor would just organize the whole thing for us. After all, I’m just a high schooler, how could I put together such a big event? But as the day went by, I realized that with the help of my peers, I had done it. All the little crises that cropped up weren’t because I was doing a bad job; they were inevitable. The fact that I could find solutions to such a wide variety of problems was a testament to my leadership skills, and my level-headedness. I didn’t just feel like a leader—I felt like an adult. As I look towards my future in college and later the workforce, I know that I can succeed, even if my obstacles seem as insurmountable as a mountain of frozen bagels. 

This writer has a great example of how to start a college essay. Their strong hook makes us curious – why are there so many? What’s going on, and can the writer fix it? The essay’s tone is clear from the outset, and we’re drawn in by the conflict. Moreover, the writer establishes themselves as a leader and problem-solver.

Like a short story character, this writer encounters various obstacles. Throughout this personal statement, the writer shows off their resourcefulness, leadership skills, and quick thinking. While other people are in this personal statement example, the focus never wavers from the writer’s thoughts and actions. Additionally, the writer details the thought process behind each of their solutions.

As we’ve mentioned, a good personal statement for a university shows information, rather than telling it. This writer walks through various aspects of the conference in the second paragraph, then explains their reasoning. Instead of just saying they wanted to make the conference accessible, the writer shows us how they made it possible by organizing food donations and only charging a small fee. This Common App essay shows us what the writer is like through actions as well as words.

A narrative of learning and growth

As with our other personal statement examples, the writer wraps up with a strong conclusion that recalls the hook. They recount their personal growth throughout this process. In addition, the writer elaborates on the lessons they have taken from this experience. As shown above, introspection on personal growth and values is part of any good personal essay for college. This Common App essay makes a solid case for its writer as a future student and community member.

In sum, this writer takes a seemingly insignificant anecdote and uses it to reveal something critical about their experiences. By highlighting particular, telling moments, the writer shows us their personality and capability. What’s more, by using engaging language and a clear structure, the writer makes a lasting impact on the reader. For these reasons, this is a superb example of a personal statement for college.

CollegeAdvisor Resources on Writing a Great Personal Statement

By now, you’ve seen several personal statement examples and confidently say you know how to write a personal statement. But maybe you feel you need a little more information. A good personal statement for college starts with early preparation. Getting a head start on writing your personal essay for college is a great idea.

We at CollegeAdvisor have no shortage of guides on how to write a personal statement. We’ve got quick college essay tips from our admissions experts . If you have some more time, here are some frequently asked questions answered by an Admissions Officer. If you’re more of a watcher than a reader, check out a personal statement webinar from CollegeAdvisor.

How to Write a Personal Statement: Final Thoughts

You made it to the end! Now you know how to write a great college essay. Let’s briefly recap what we covered in this “How to Write a Personal Statement” guide.

Firstly, we answered the question, “What is a personal statement?” We outlined the expected length, personal statement format, and how important they are in the application process. Then, we explored some of the most common and effective personal statement topics.

Next, we looked at how to write a personal statement. We gave advice and tips on drafting, editing, and finalizing your personal essay for college. Specifically, we talked about the value of strong hooks, your unique voice, and editing.

Finally, we reviewed five personal statement examples and discussed what made them work. Each of our personal essay examples had effective language, structure, and other techniques that may inspire your writing.

Still a little stuck on how to write a personal statement for college? Aside from college essay tips and personal statement webinars, CollegeAdvisor also offers one-on-one support. We have hundreds of Admissions Experts and former Admissions Officers available to support you. Our Admissions Experts can work with you to help you craft a college application essay that highlights your potential.

This guide was written by Sarah Kaminski , Lori Dunlap , and Gina Goosby . No matter what stage you are at in your college search, CollegeAdvisor.com is here to help. We’ve created a wide range of guides, to help you navigate the college admissions process from building your school list all the way to packing for your freshman fall. For more specialized guidance on writing a personal statement, click here to schedule a free meeting with one of our Admissions Specialists. During your meeting, our team will discuss your profile and help you find targeted ways to increase your admissions odds at top schools. We’ll also answer any questions and discuss how CollegeAdvisor.com can support you in the college application process.

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How to Write a Personal Statement (with Tips and Examples)

Hannah Yang headshot

By Hannah Yang

How to write a personal statement

Table of Contents

What is a personal statement, 6 tips on how to write a personal statement, personal statement examples (for college and university), faqs about writing personal statements, conclusion on how to write a personal statement.

How do you tell someone who you are in just a few hundred words?

It’s certainly no easy task, but it’s one almost every college applicant must do. The personal statement is a crucial part of any college or university application.

So, how do you write a compelling personal statement?

In this article, we’ll give you all the tools, tips, and examples you need to write an effective personal statement.

A personal statement is a short essay that reveals something important about who you are. It can talk about your background, your interests, your values, your goals in life, or all of the above.

Personal statements are required by many college admission offices and scholarship selection committees. They’re a key part of your application, alongside your academic transcript, standardized test scores, and extracurricular activities.

The reason application committees ask you to write a personal statement is so they can get to know who you are. 

Some personal statements have specific prompts, such as “Discuss a period of personal growth in your life” or “Tell us about a challenge or failure you’ve faced.” Others are more open-ended with prompts that essentially boil down to “Tell us about yourself.”

No matter what the prompt is, your goal is the same: to make yourself stand out to the selection committee as a strong candidate for their program.

Here are some things a personal statement can be:

It can be funny. If you have a great sense of humor, your personal statement is a great place to let that shine.  

It can be vulnerable. Don’t be afraid to open up about hardships in your life or failures you’ve experienced. Showing vulnerability can make you sound more like a real person rather than just a collection of application materials.  

It can be creative. Candidates have got into top schools with personal statements that take the form of “a day in the life” descriptions, third-person short stories, and even cooking recipes.

Now we’ve talked about what a personal statement is, let’s quickly look at what a personal statement isn’t:

It isn’t a formal academic paper. You should write the personal statement in your natural voice, using first-person pronouns like “I” and “me,” not in the formal, objective language you would use to write an academic paper.

It isn’t a five-paragraph essay. You should use as many paragraphs as you need to tell your story instead of sticking to the essay structure you learned in school.

It isn’t a resumé. You should try to describe yourself by telling a clear and cohesive story rather than providing a jumbled list of all of your accomplishments and ambitions.

personal statement definition

Here are our top six tips for writing a strong personal statement.

Tip 1: Do Some Serious Self-Reflection

The hardest part of writing a personal statement isn’t the actual process of writing it.

Before you start typing, you have to figure out what to write about. And that means taking some time to reflect on who you are and what’s important in your life.

Here are some useful questions you can use to start your self-reflection. You can either answer these on your own by writing down your answers, or you can ask a trusted friend to listen as you talk about them together.

What were the key moments that shaped your life? (e.g. an important friendship, a travel experience, an illness or injury)

What are you proud of? (e.g. you’re a good listener, you always keep your promises, you’re a talented musician)

How do you choose to spend your time? (e.g. reading, practicing soccer, spending time with your friends)

What inspires you? (e.g. your grandmother, a celebrity, your favorite song)

Doing this self-reflection is crucial for figuring out the perfect topics and anecdotes you can use to describe who you are.

Tip 2: Try to Avoid Cliché Topics

College application committees read thousands of personal statements a year. That means there are some personal statement topics they see over and over again.

Here are a few examples of common personal statement topics that have become cliché:

Winning a tournament or sports game

Volunteering in a foreign country

Moving to a new home

Becoming an older sibling

Being an immigrant or having immigrant parents

If you want to make a strong impression in the application process, you need to make your personal statement stand out from the crowd.

But if your chosen personal statement topic falls into one of these categories, that doesn’t necessarily mean you shouldn’t use it. Just make sure to put a unique spin on it so it still delivers something the committee hasn’t seen before.

good personal statement hook

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Tip 3: Show, Don’t Tell

One common mistake you might make in your personal statement is to simply tell the reader what you want them to know about you, such as by stating “I have a fear of public speaking” or “I love to cook.”

Instead of simply stating these facts, you should show the committee what you’re talking about through a story or scene, which will make your essay much more immersive and memorable.

For example, let’s say you want the committee to know you overcame your fear of public speaking. Instead of writing “I overcame my fear of public speaking,” show them what it was like to be onstage in front of a microphone. Did your palms get clammy? Did you feel light-headed? Did you forget your words?

Or let’s say you want the committee to know you love to cook. Instead of writing “I love to cook,” show them why you love to cook. What’s your favorite dish to cook? What does the air smell like when you’re cooking it? What kitchen appliances do you use to make it?

Tip 4: Connect the Story to Why You’re Applying

Don’t forget that the purpose of your personal statement isn’t simply to tell the admissions committee who you are. That’s an important part of it, of course, but your ultimate goal is to convince them to choose you as a candidate.

That means it’s important to tie your personal story to your reasons for applying to this specific school or scholarship. Finish your essay with a strong thesis.

For example, if your story is about overcoming your fear of public speaking, you might connect that story to your ambition of becoming a politician. You can then tie that to your application by saying, “I want to apply to this school because of its fantastic politics program, which will give me a perfect opportunity to use my voice.”

Tip 5: Write in Your Own Voice

The personal statement isn’t supposed to be written in a formal tone. That’s why they’re called “personal” statements because you have to shape it to fit your own voice and style.

Don’t use complicated or overwrought language. You don’t need to fill your essay with semicolons and big words, unless that’s how you sound in real life.

One way to write in your own voice is by speaking your personal statement out loud. If it doesn’t feel natural, it may need changing. 

Tip 6: Edit, Edit, Edit!

It’s important to revise your personal statement multiple times in order to make sure it’s as close to perfect as possible.

A single typo won’t kill your application, but if your personal statement contains multiple spelling errors or egregious grammar mistakes, you won’t be putting your best foot forward.

ProWritingAid can help you make sure your personal statement is as clean as possible. In addition to catching your grammar errors, typos, and punctuation mistakes, it will also help you improve weaknesses in your writing, such as passive voice, unnecessary repetition, and more.

Let’s look at some of the best personal statements that have worked for successful candidates in the real world. 

Harvard Personal Statement Example

Love. For a word describing such a powerful emotion, it is always in the air. The word “love” has become so pervasive in everyday conversation that it hardly retains its roots in blazing passion and deep adoration. In fact, the word is thrown about so much that it becomes difficult to believe society isn’t just one huge, smitten party, with everyone holding hands and singing “Kumbaya.” In films, it’s the teenage boy’s grudging response to a doting mother. At school, it’s a habitual farewell between friends. But in my Chinese home, it’s never uttered. Watching my grandmother lie unconscious on the hospital bed, waiting for her body to shut down, was excruciatingly painful. Her final quavering breaths formed a discordant rhythm with the steady beep of hospital equipment and the unsympathetic tapping hands of the clock. That evening, I whispered—into unhearing ears—the first, and only, “I love you” I ever said to her, my rankling guilt haunting me relentlessly for weeks after her passing. My warm confession seemed anticlimactic, met with only the coldness of my surroundings—the blank room, impassive doctors, and empty silence. I struggled to understand why the “love” that so easily rolled off my tongue when bantering with friends dissipated from my vocabulary when I spoke to my family. Do Chinese people simply love less than Americans do?

This is an excerpt from a personal statement that got the applicant admitted to Harvard University. The applicant discusses her background as a Chinese-American by musing on the word “love” and what that means within her family.

The writer uses vulnerable details about her relationship with her grandmother to give the reader an understanding of where she comes from and how her family has shaped her.  

You can read the full personal statement on the Harvard Crimson website.

Tufts Personal Statement Example

My first dream job was to be a pickle truck driver. I saw it in my favorite book, Richard Scarry’s “Cars and Trucks and Things That Go,” and for some reason, I was absolutely obsessed with the idea of driving a giant pickle. Much to the discontent of my younger sister, I insisted that my parents read us that book as many nights as possible so we could find goldbug, a small little golden bug, on every page. I would imagine the wonderful life I would have: being a pig driving a giant pickle truck across the country, chasing and finding goldbug. I then moved on to wanting to be a Lego Master. Then an architect. Then a surgeon. Then I discovered a real goldbug: gold nanoparticles that can reprogram macrophages to assist in killing tumors, produce clear images of them without sacrificing the subject, and heat them to obliteration. Suddenly the destination of my pickle was clear. I quickly became enveloped by the world of nanomedicine; I scoured articles about liposomes, polymeric micelles, dendrimers, targeting ligands, and self-assembling nanoparticles, all conquering cancer in some exotic way. Completely absorbed, I set out to find a mentor to dive even deeper into these topics. After several rejections, I was immensely grateful to receive an invitation to work alongside Dr. Sangeeta Ray at Johns Hopkins.

This is the beginning of a personal statement by Renner Kwittken, who was admitted into Tufts University as a pre-medical student.

Renner uses a humorous anecdote about being a pickle truck driver to describe his love for nanomedicine and how he got involved in his field. You can feel his passion for medicine throughout his personal statement.

You can find Renner’s full essay on the Tufts Admissions page.

Law School Personal Statement Essay Example

For most people, the slap on the face that turns their life around is figurative. Mine was literal. Actually, it was a punch delivered by a drill sergeant at Fort Dix, New Jersey, while I was in basic training. That day’s activity, just a few weeks into the program, included instruction in “low-crawling,” a sensible method of moving from one place to another on a battlefield. I felt rather clever for having discovered that, by looking right rather than down, I eliminated my helmet’s unfortunate tendency to dig into the ground and slow my progress. I could thus advance more easily, but I also exposed my unprotected face to hostile fire. Drill sergeants are typically very good at detecting this type of laziness, and mine was an excellent drill sergeant. So, after his repeated suggestions that I correct my performance went unheeded, he drove home his point with a fist to my face. We were both stunned. This was, after all, the New Army, and striking a trainee was a career-ending move for a drill sergeant, as we were both aware. I could have reported him; arguably, I should have. I didn’t. It didn’t seem right for this good sergeant, who had not slept for almost four days, to lose his career for losing his temper with my laziness. Choosing not to report him was the first decision I remember making that made me proud.

These are the first three paragraphs of an anonymous personal statement by a Wheaton College graduate, who used this personal statement to get into a top-25 law school.

This statement describes a time the applicant faced a challenging decision while in the army. He ended up making a decision he was proud of, and as a result, the personal statement gives us a sense of his character.

You can find the full essay on the Wheaton Academics website.

Here are some common questions about how to write a personal statement.

How Long Should a Personal Statement Be?

The length of your personal statement depends on the specific program you’re applying to. The application guidelines usually specify a maximum word count or an ideal word count.  

Most personal statements are between 500–800 words. That’s a good general range to aim for if you don’t have more specific guidelines.  

Should Personal Statements Be Different for Scholarships?

Many scholarship applications will ask for personal statements with similar prompts to those of college applications.

However, the purpose of a personal statement you’d write for a scholarship application is different from the purpose of one you’d write for a college application.

For a scholarship application, your goal is to showcase why you deserve the scholarship. To do that, you need to understand the mission of the organization offering that scholarship.

For example, some scholarships are meant to help first-generation college students get their degree, while others are meant to help women break into STEM.

Consider the following questions:

Why is this organization offering scholarships?

What would their ideal scholarship candidate look like?

How do your experiences and goals overlap with those of their ideal scholarship candidate?

You can use the same personal anecdotes you’d use for any other personal statement, but you’ll have a better chance of winning the scholarship if you tailor your essay to match their specific mission.

How to Start a Personal Statement

You should start your personal statement with a “hook” that pulls the reader in. The sooner you catch the reader’s attention, the more likely they’ll want to read the entire essay.

Here are some examples of hooks you can use:

A story (e.g. When the spotlight hit my face, I tried to remind myself to breathe. )

A setting description (e.g. My bedroom floor is covered with dirty laundry, candy wrappers, and crumpled sheet music. )

A funny anecdote (e.g. When I was a little kid, my friends nicknamed me Mowgli because of my haircut. )

A surprising fact (e.g. I've lived in 37 countries .)

There you have it—our complete guide to writing a personal statement that will make you stand out to the application committee.

Here’s a quick recap: 

A personal statement is a short essay that shows an application committee who you are

Start with a strong hook that pulls the reader in

Tell a story to engage the reader 

Write in your own voice, not in a formal tone

Good luck, and happy writing!

Hannah Yang

Hannah is a speculative fiction writer who loves all things strange and surreal. She holds a BA from Yale University and lives in Colorado. When she’s not busy writing, you can find her painting watercolors, playing her ukulele, or hiking in the Rockies. Follow her work on hannahyang.com or on Twitter at @hannahxyang.

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Personal Statement Hooks That Don’t Suck

good personal statement hook

Easy writing is bad writing.

We’ve seen this phrase proven true repeatedly in our work with students. But that’s not to say that writing needs to be complex or convoluted.

Rather, it simply needs to go down a more difficult intellectual path, make a harder argument, and take a creative leap that requires innovative thinking.

And that’s especially important when you’re writing the hook of a personal statement, since so much is at stake in that opening paragraph. It’s your primary (and perhaps only) opportunity to make a memorable impression and give the admissions committees a reason to keep reading.

A few weeks ago, we posted our expert tips for generating ideas for personal statement hooks, and today, we want to highlight 3 stylistic qualities of great hooks that will help you execute your ideas in an attention-grabbing way.

Let’s break each quality down and give you some examples. For our purposes here, we’ve used medical school as our career goal, but our advice would hold up for ANY discipline.     

1. Great Personal Statement Hooks are Counterintuitive

If something on your path has surprised you or upended your expectations, it might be a great thing to use as a hook. Chances are, it will surprise the readers, too.

Cotton candy. Heavy metal music. American Ninja Warrior. Not what you’d expect to encounter in palliative care. But then I met Jimmy, a teenager with terminal cancer. A few months earlier, the words “children’s hospice” almost seemed like an oxymoron…

Example 2: 

I’ve always been known for my sweet tooth, but I never expected that all the gummy worms and peanut butter cups would lead me to medicine. Growing up, I was resented for my lightning-fast metabolism, never gaining weight despite my sugary indulgences. On the outside I seemed healthy, but my sweet tooth had a secret cavity. At 18, I was diagnosed with cecal diverticulitis and told that I had the digestional tract of a 60-year-old…

2. Great Personal Statement Hooks are Contrarian

To illustrate this idea, we can simply look at a particularly cliche hook and use the contrarian style to make it better.

Cliche Hook Example:

Even as a child, I had medical aspirations. I remember using my toy stethoscope on my three younger siblings as we ‘played doctor.’

This type of narrative is expected. It could benefit from a reversal.

Contrarian Version:

When my six-year-old nephew told me he wanted to be a doctor, I didn’t give him a high five or tell him “that’s awesome.” Instead, I asked, “Are you sure? That’s a pretty tough job.” I know it sounds harsh, but it’s the same question I was asked growing up. There are several doctors in our family, but they never push the career on their children. Instead, the career choice is more of an interrogation.

3. Great Personal Statement Hooks are Morally Ambiguous 

Again, let’s take a bad example and make it better by applying the morally ambiguous style.

Ever since doctors cured my grandfather’s cancer, I have wanted to pay forward that same service to other patients and their families.

This type of narrative is too straightforward. It needs more tension and ambiguity.

Morally Ambiguous Version:

I couldn’t understand my grandfather’s decision to give up. When he looked the doctor in the eye and refused treatment, my heart sank. The prognosis was grim, and he did not want to endure more chemo with such a low recovery rate. To me, the 5% was worth the agony, but I was being selfish. My family pleaded with the doctors to help change his mind, but they had to respect his decision. It took me years to realize this was the humane thing to do.

Key Takeaways for Your Own Writing:

Whether you use one of these strategies or apply all three simultaneously, there are overarching lessons to take away during your own writing:

  • Always put yourself in the shoes of the admissions officer: is your hook fitting a cookie-cutter mold they’ve seen before or breaking their expectations?
  • If the hook feels a little “out there” or risky, that’s probably a good sign.
  • Whatever your first instinct says to write, consider doing the opposite; if it’s your first instinct, it’s probably everyone else’s too.
  • Don’t disregard details of the story that seem insignificant at first (e.g. the cotton candy and heavy metal music from our first example); sometimes those tidbits are what will stick out the most in a reader’s brain.
  • Try, to the best of your ability, to produce something that feels like only YOU could have written it, even if it covers a common topic. ‍

Nobody said it’d be easy. And in fact, it shouldn’t be. But if you let your ideas wrestle around with our three styles/qualities for a while, we have faith that you’ll find the right hook for you.

- Ryan and Rob

For over 11 years, Ryan Kelly has guided hundreds of students towards acceptance into top colleges and graduate schools, with an emphasis on standing out while also staying true to themselves. Read more about Ryan here . Or book a free intro meeting with him here . ‍

‍ Rob Humbracht is founder and CEO of Passport Admissions and lead author of The Savvy PreMed. He is also CEO at ReelDx and Co-founder of HEAL Clinical Education Network. FOLLOW HIM ON LINKEDIN .

  • Medical School Application

Medical School Personal Statement Examples That Got 6 Acceptances

Featured Admissions Expert: Dr. Monica Taneja, MD

Medical School Personal Statement Examples That Got 6 Acceptances

These 30 exemplary medical school personal statement examples come from our students who enrolled in one of our medical school admissions consulting programs. These examples led to multiple acceptance for our student’s dream schools. In this article we'll also provide you a step-by-step guide for composing your own outstanding personal statement from scratch. If you follow this strategy, you're going to have a stellar statement whether you apply to the most competitive or the easiest medical schools to get into .

>> Want us to help you get accepted? Schedule a free initial consultation here <<

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Article Contents 31 min read

Stellar medical school personal statement examples that got multiple acceptances, medical school personal statement example #1 – six acceptances.

I made my way to Hillary’s house after hearing about her alcoholic father’s incarceration. Seeing her tearfulness and at a loss for words, I took her hand and held it, hoping to make things more bearable. She squeezed back gently in reply, “thank you.” My silent gesture seemed to confer a soundless message of comfort, encouragement and support.

Through mentoring, I have developed meaningful relationships with individuals of all ages, including seven-year-old Hillary. Many of my mentees come from disadvantaged backgrounds; working with them has challenged me to become more understanding and compassionate. Although Hillary was not able to control her father’s alcoholism and I had no immediate solution to her problems, I felt truly fortunate to be able to comfort her with my presence. Though not always tangible, my small victories, such as the support I offered Hillary, hold great personal meaning. Similarly, medicine encompasses more than an understanding of tangible entities such as the science of disease and treatment—to be an excellent physician requires empathy, dedication, curiosity and love of problem solving. These are skills I have developed through my experiences both teaching and shadowing inspiring physicians.

Medicine encompasses more than hard science. My experience as a teaching assistant nurtured my passion for medicine; I found that helping students required more than knowledge of organic chemistry. Rather, I was only able to address their difficulties when I sought out their underlying fears and feelings. One student, Azra, struggled despite regularly attending office hours. She approached me, asking for help. As we worked together, I noticed that her frustration stemmed from how intimidated she was by problems. I helped her by listening to her as a fellow student and normalizing her struggles. “I remember doing badly on my first organic chem test, despite studying really hard,” I said to Azra while working on a problem. “Really? You’re a TA, shouldn’t you be perfect?” I looked up and explained that I had improved my grades through hard work. I could tell she instantly felt more hopeful, she said, “If you could do it, then I can too!” When she passed, receiving a B+;I felt as if I had passed too. That B+ meant so much: it was a tangible result of Azra’s hard work, but it was also symbol of our dedication to one another and the bond we forged working together.

My passion for teaching others and sharing knowledge emanates from my curiosity and love for learning. My shadowing experiences in particular have stimulated my curiosity and desire to learn more about the world around me. How does platelet rich plasma stimulate tissue growth? How does diabetes affect the proximal convoluted tubule? My questions never stopped. I wanted to know everything and it felt very satisfying to apply my knowledge to clinical problems.

Shadowing physicians further taught me that medicine not only fuels my curiosity; it also challenges my problem solving skills. I enjoy the connections found in medicine, how things learned in one area can aid in coming up with a solution in another. For instance, while shadowing Dr. Steel I was asked, “What causes varicose veins and what are the complications?” I thought to myself, what could it be? I knew that veins have valves and thought back to my shadowing experience with Dr. Smith in the operating room. She had amputated a patient’s foot due to ulcers obstructing the venous circulation. I replied, “veins have valves and valve problems could lead to ulcers.” Dr. Steel smiled, “you’re right, but it doesn’t end there!” Medicine is not disconnected; it is not about interventional cardiology or orthopedic surgery. In fact, medicine is intertwined and collaborative. The ability to gather knowledge from many specialties and put seemingly distinct concepts together to form a coherent picture truly attracts me to medicine.

It is hard to separate science from medicine; in fact, medicine is science. However, medicine is also about people—their feelings, struggles and concerns. Humans are not pre-programmed robots that all face the same problems. Humans deserve sensitive and understanding physicians. Humans deserve doctors who are infinitely curious, constantly questioning new advents in medicine. They deserve someone who loves the challenge of problem solving and coming up with innovative individualized solutions. I want to be that physician. I want to be able to approach each case as a unique entity and incorporate my strengths into providing personalized care for my patients. Until that time, I may be found Friday mornings in the operating room, peering over shoulders, dreaming about the day I get to hold the drill.

Let's take a step back to consider what this medical school personal statement example does, not just what it says. It begins with an engaging hook in the first paragraph and ends with a compelling conclusion. The introduction draws you in, making the essay almost impossible to put down, while the conclusion paints a picture of someone who is both passionate and dedicated to the profession. In between the introduction and conclusion, this student makes excellent use of personal narrative. The anecdotes chosen demonstrate this individual's response to the common question, " Why do you want to be a doctor ?" while simultaneously making them come across as compassionate, curious, and reflective.

This person is clearly a talented writer, but this was the result of several rounds of edits with one of our medical school admissions consulting team members and a lot of hard work.

If your essay is not quite there yet, or if you're just getting started, don't sweat it. A good personal statement will take time and editing. 

I was one of those kids who always wanted to be doctor. I didn’t understand the responsibilities and heartbreaks, the difficult decisions, and the years of study and training that go with the title, but I did understand that the person in the white coat stood for knowledge, professionalism, and compassion. As a child, visits to the pediatrician were important events. I’d attend to my hair and clothes, and travel to the appointment in anticipation. I loved the interaction with my doctor. I loved that whoever I was in the larger world, I could enter the safe space of the doctor’s office, and for a moment my concerns were heard and evaluated. I listened as my mother communicated with the doctor. I’d be asked questions, respectfully examined, treatments and options would be weighed, and we would be on our way. My mother had been supported in her efforts to raise a well child, and I’d had a meaningful interaction with an adult who cared for my body and development. I understood medicine as an act of service, which aligned with my values, and became a dream.

I was hospitalized for several months as a teenager and was inspired by the experience, despite the illness. In the time of diagnosis, treatment and recovery, I met truly sick children. Children who were much more ill than me. Children who wouldn’t recover. We shared a four-bed room, and we shared our medical stories. Because of the old hospital building, there was little privacy in our room, and we couldn’t help but listen-in during rounds, learning the medical details, becoming “experts” in our four distinct cases. I had more mobility than some of the patients, and when the medical team and family members were unavailable, I’d run simple errands for my roommates, liaise informally with staff, and attend to needs. To bring physical relief, a cold compress, a warmed blanket, a message to a nurse, filled me with such an intense joy and sense of purpose that I applied for a volunteer position at the hospital even before my release.

I have since been volunteering in emergency departments, out-patient clinics, and long term care facilities. While the depth of human suffering is at times shocking and the iterations of illness astounding, it is in the long-term care facility that I had the most meaningful experiences by virtue of my responsibilities and the nature of the patients’ illnesses. Charles was 55 when he died. He had early onset Parkinson’s Disease with dementia that revealed itself with a small tremor when he was in his late twenties. Charles had a wife and three daughters who visited regularly, but whom he didn’t often remember. Over four years as a volunteer, my role with the family was to fill in the spaces left by Charles’ periodic inability to project his voice as well as his growing cognitive lapses. I would tell the family of his activities between their visits, and I would remind him of their visits and their news. This was a hard experience for me. I watched as 3 daughters, around my own age, incrementally lost their father. I became angry, and then I grew even more determined.

In the summer of third year of my Health Sciences degree, I was chosen to participate in an undergraduate research fellowship in biomedical research at my university. As part of this experience, I worked alongside graduate students, postdoctoral fellows, medical students, physicians, and faculty in Alzheimer’s research into biomarkers that might predict future disease. We collaborated in teams, and by way of the principal investigator’s careful leadership, I learned wherever one falls in terms of rank, each contribution is vital to the outcome. None of the work is in isolation. For instance, I was closely mentored by Will, a graduate student who had been in my role the previous summer. He, in turn, collaborated with post docs and medical students, turning to faculty when roadblocks were met. While one person’s knowledge and skill may be deeper than another’s, individual efforts make up the whole. Working in this team, aside from developing research skills, I realized that practicing medicine is not an individual pursuit, but a collaborative commitment to excellence in scholarship and leadership, which all begins with mentorship.

Building on this experience with teamwork in the lab, I participated in a global health initiative in Nepal for four months, where I worked alongside nurses, doctors, and translators. I worked in mobile rural health camps that offered tuberculosis care, monitored the health and development of babies and children under 5, and tended to minor injuries. We worked 11-hour days helping hundreds of people in the 3 days we spent in each location. Patients would already be in line before we woke each morning. I spent each day recording basic demographic information, blood pressure, pulse, temperature, weight, height, as well as random blood sugar levels, for each patient, before they lined up to see a doctor. Each day was exhausting and satisfying. We helped so many people. But this satisfaction was quickly displaced by a developing understanding of issues in health equity.

My desire to be doctor as a young person was not misguided, but simply naïve. I’ve since learned the role of empathy and compassion through my experiences as a patient and volunteer. I’ve broadened my contextual understanding of medicine in the lab and in Nepal. My purpose hasn’t changed, but what has developed is my understanding that to be a physician is to help people live healthy, dignified lives by practicing both medicine and social justice.

Want to hear more medical school personal statement examples that got accepted?

28 More Medical School Personal Statement Examples That Got Accepted

\u201cWhy didn\u2019t I pursue medicine sooner?\u201d Is the question that now occupies my mind. Leila made me aware of the unprofessional treatment delivered by some doctors. My subsequent activities confirmed my desire to become a doctor who cares deeply for his patients and provides the highest quality care. My passion for research fuels my scientific curiosity. I will continue to advocate for patient equality and fairness. Combining these qualities will allow me to succeed as a physician. ","label":"Med School PS Example #10","title":"Med School PS Example #10"}]" code="tab4" template="BlogArticle">

" It was the middle of the night when I received the call that my friend was trying to jump off the 30th floor of an apartment building. When I got to her, all I could see was anguish and fear in her eyes as she looked back at me from the balcony. I was eventually able to talk her down, but this was only one of many times I came to her aid as she struggled with mental illness."

Medical school personal statement example: #12

" I lost my brother before I had the opportunity to meet him. Technology was not advanced enough in my hometown in India for my mother to know she had lost her child before it laid still in her arms."

Medical school personal statement example: #13

" After six years of being in the closet, I came out to my parents as bisexual in the middle of a family dinner, blurting out the confession as I couldn’t hold it in anymore ... To me, this was just one small piece of me and my identity that was different but for some, it makes all the difference."

Medical school personal statement example: #14

" While shadowing primary care physicians, neurologists and a laryngologist however, I realized just how untrue the idea of doctors failing to feel helpless can be ... Looking back now, I didn’t yet comprehend that doctors were human and didn’t always have all of the answers. This was my first encounter with the limitations of medicine."

Medical school personal statement example: #15

" Having been both a patient and a teacher, I have experienced the importance of paying attention to brief moments that can offer great transformation."

Medical school personal statement example: #16

" “Who are you?” At 20 years old, I stood face to face with my abuela, but I was now a stranger. Our relationship had been erased with those three simple words. My abuela, as I had known her, was gone."

Medical school personal statement example: #17

" As a child growing up, I faced signs in Mandarin and Hindu scriptures with a mixture of curiosity and frustration. Across the street from my childhood home, I saw the effect of misunderstanding played out in reverse at the hospital ... I could not hear the conversations, but I recognized the expression on the receptionist’s face each time she spoke to a Hindi-speaking patient—wrinkled nose and a raised eyebrow with a look of confusion. At a young age, I understood how discouraging even simple communication could be across a language barrier."

Medical school personal statement example: #18

" The high pitched siren broke silence in a frosty winter morning. Stationed on the curbside was an ambulance with flashing red and white lights with my mother inside. Not long ago, our car skidded on ice and hit a tree ... In the next few days, I sat alongside my mother in the hospital, praying that her pain would ease and she would recover soon."

Medical school personal statement example: #19

" Coping with my mother’s visual hallucinations, amnesia, and overall emotional instability was frustrating and exhausting. I was heartbroken watching the strong, independent woman who raised me struggle to be herself. Nevertheless, I witnessed the necessity of having faith and proper support in overcoming hurdles such as these."

Medical school personal statement example: #20

" While it was devastating to learn that there was no treatment for NCL, it highlighted the importance of medical research ... The connection the doctors developed with my family, the way they taught us about NCL, and the hope their research on NCL gave us helped drive my curiosity and love for medicine."

Medical school personal statement example: #21

" We were passing through the blinding lights of New York City when the incident happened. It happened slowly, like in a movie. Shuffling along the crowded sidewalk, holding my mother’s hand, I suddenly felt her fingers slip from my grasp."

Medical school personal statement example: #22

"W hen I was ten years old, I had an uncle I’d never met before come to visit. When my mother introduced him to us, she told us that he was a travelling physician for doctors without borders ... He told us that his job was to provide care for people in need, regardless of race, nationality, class, or creed. 'One day, maybe you can join me,' he said."

Medical school personal statement example: #23

" When I was young, I wanted to be just like my father ... As I got older, the veil of importance I always viewed him with began to lift – the smoke in front of my eyes swept away in a cold gust of wind. On my 16th birthday, he gave me the only advice he would ever give before he died."

Medical school personal statement example: #24

" As I watched smoke curl around my grandfather’s chapped hands, I often wondered if the burning red tip of the cigarette kept him warm in the cold prairie winter ... Cigarettes were bad for you, he'd say, yet he continued the ritual every workday. Adults always told us they were bad for your health. But nobody told Grandpa he shouldn’t smoke."

Medical school personal statement example: #25

" To me, being a psychiatrist is like dropping a few coins in a cup. It doesn’t seem like enough, but little by little, those coins start to add up."

Medical school personal statement example: #26

" I wasn’t supposed to live past the age of 25. Growing up in a neighborhood where drug use was commonplace and crime rates were high, every young person could see what their future held every day on the walk home from school."

Medical school personal statement example: #27

" When we returned home after the mission trip, that sense of pride hung around. I reflected on my trip, and I realized ... while dentistry still didn’t spark my passions, my interest in medicine had been ignited."

Medical school personal statement example: #28

"' People like Annie have problems that won’t go away,' Dr. Dean said, 'but that doesn’t mean we can’t help.'"

Medical school personal statement example: #29

" We were out on patrol one night and heard shouting. We called it in and ran over, fearing the worst. What we found was a small boy – one of the local kids – who had tripped and scraped his knee. Well, didn’t Jeff patch him up with his field kit, showing a great bedside manner for a guy in full tactical gear."

Medical school personal statement example: #30

" I’m not decrying loud music, but ... a series of bad decisions and ignored warnings may have condemned me to a future of obnoxious background noise."

Are you a medical school reapplicant? Check out some medical school reapplicant personal statement examples. ","label":"NOTE","title":"NOTE"}]" code="tab2" template="BlogArticle">

Tips to Create Your Exemplary Medical School Personal Statement

Your med school personal statement is one of the most important medical school requirements . It tells your story of why you decided to pursue the medical profession. Keep in mind that personal statements are one of the key factors that affect medical school acceptance rates . A well-written personal statement can mean the difference between acceptance and rejection!

“Personal statements are often emphasized in your application to medical school as this singular crucial factor that distinguishes you from every other applicant. Demonstrating the uniqueness of my qualities is precisely how I found myself getting multiple interviews and offers into medical school.” – Dr. Vincent Adeyemi, MD

Personal statements remain one of the most challenging parts of students' journeys to medical school. Here's our student Melissa sharing her experience of working on her personal statement:

"I struggled making my personal statement personal... I couldn't incorporate my feelings, motives and life stories that inspired me to pursue medicine into my personal statement" - Melissa, BeMo Student

Let's approach this step-by-step. Here's a quick run-down of what we'll cover in the article:

#1 Review What Makes a Strong Medical School Personal Statement

Before discussing how to write a strong medical school personal statement, we first need to understand the qualities of a strong essay. Similar to crafting strong medical school secondary essays , writing a strong personal statement is a challenging, yet extremely important, part of your MD or MD-PhD programs applications. Your AMCAS Work and Activities section may show the reader what you have done, but the personal statement explains why.

This is how Dr. Neel Mistry, MD and our admissions expert, prepared for his medical school personal statement writing:

"The personal statement is an opportunity for you to shine and really impress the committee to invite you for an interview. The personal statement is your chance to be reflective and go beyond what is stated on your CV and [activities]. In order to stand out, it is important to answer the main questions [of medical school personal statements] well: a bit about yourself and what led you to medicine, why you would make an ideal medical student and future physician, what attracts you to [medicine], and what sets you apart from the other candidates. The key here is answering the last two questions well. Most candidates simply highlight what they have done, but do not reflect on it or mention how what they have done has prepared them for a future medical career." - Dr. Neel Mistry, MD

A personal statement should be deeply personal, giving the admissions committee insight into your passions and your ultimate decision to pursue a career in medicine. A compelling and introspective personal statement can make the difference between getting a medical school interview and facing medical school rejection .

As you contemplate the task in front of you, you may be wondering what composing an essay has to do with entering the field of medicine. Many of our students were surprised to learn that medical school personal statements are so valued by med schools. The two things are more closely related than you think. A compelling personal statement demonstrates your written communication skills and highlights your accomplishments, passions, and aspirations. The ability to communicate a complex idea in a short space is an important skill as a physician. You should demonstrate your communication skills by writing a concise and meaningful statement that illustrates your best attributes. Leaving a lasting impression on your reader is what will lead to interview invitations.

#2 Brainstorm Ideas to Make Your Medical School Personal Statement Stand Out

Personal statements for medical school often start by explaining why medicine is awesome; but the admission committee already knows that. You should explain why you want a career in medicine. What is it about the practice of medicine that resonates with who you are? Here are some additional questions you can consider as you go about brainstorming for your essay:

  • What motivates you to learn more about medicine?
  • What is something you want them to know about you that isn't in your application?
  • Where were you born, how did you grow up, and what type of childhood did you have growing up (perhaps including interesting stories about your siblings, parents, grandparents)?
  • What kinds of early exposure to the medical field left an impression on you as a child?
  • Did you become familiar with and interested in the field of medicine at an early stage of your life? If so, why?
  • What are your key strengths, and how have you developed these?
  • What steps did you take to familiarize yourself with the medical profession?
  • Did you shadow a physician? Did you volunteer or work in a clinical setting? Did you get involved in medical research?
  • What challenges have you faced? Have these made an impact on what you chose to study?
  • What are your favorite activities?
  • What kinds of extracurriculars for medical school or volunteer work have you done, and how have these shaped who you are, your priorities, and or your perspectives on a career in medicine?
  • What was your "Aha!" moment?
  • When did your desire to become a doctor solidify?
  • How did you make the decision to apply to medical school?

You shouldn't try to answer all of these in your essay. Try a few main points that will carry over into the final draft. Start developing your narrative by prioritizing the most impactful responses to these prompts and the ideas that are most relevant to your own experiences and goals. The perfect personal statement not only shows the admissions committee that you have refined communication skills, but also conveys maturity and professionalism.

Here's how our student Alison, who was a non-traditional applicant with a serious red flag in her application, used her brainstorming sessions with our admissions experts to get a theme going in her medical school personal statement and her overall application package:

"I think it was during my brainstorming session that we really started talking about... what the theme [was] going to be for my application. And I think that was really helpful in and of itself. Just [reflecting] 'Hey, what's your focus going to be like? How are we going to write this? What's the style going to be?' Just to create an element of consistency throughout..." Alison, BeMo Student, current student at Dell Medical School 

After brainstorming, you should be able to clearly see two to four key ideas, skills, qualities, and intersections that you want to write about.

As you begin thinking about what to include in your personal essay, remember that you are writing for a specific audience with specific expectations. The admissions committee will be examining your essay through the lens of their particular school's mission, values, and priorities, as well as the qualities of an ideal physician.

"Make it easy for the reader to be able to work [their] way through [your personal statement]. Because, at the end of the day, I think one thing that helped me a lot was being able to think about who was going to be reading this application and it's going to be these people that are sitting around a desk or sitting at a table and [go] through massive numbers of applications every single day. And the easier and more digestible that you can make it for them, gives you a little bit of a win." - Alison, BeMo student, current student at Dell Medical School

You should think about your experiences with reference to the AAMC Core Competencies and to each school's mission statement so that you're working toward your narrative with the institution and broader discipline in mind. The AAMC Core Competencies are the key characteristics and skills sought by U.S. medical schools.

You are not expected to have mastered all of these competencies at this stage of your education. Display those that are relevant to your experiences will help demonstrate your commitment to the medical profession.

#4 How to Answer the Prompt, Without a Prompt

Your personal statement is, in essence, an essay prompt without a prompt. They give you free rein to write your own prompt to tell your story. This is often difficult for students as they find it hard to get started without having a true direction. However, you can think of this question as essentially having the prompt “why do you want to become a doctor?” . Here are some questions to guide your self-reflection:

  • The moment your passion for medicine crystallized
  • The events that led you toward this path
  • Specific instances in which you experienced opportunities
  • Challenges that helped shape your worldview
  • Your compassion, resilience, or enthusiastic collaboration
  • Demonstrate your commitment to others
  • Your dependability
  • Your leadership skills
  • Your ability to problem-solve or to resolve a conflict

These are personal, impactful experiences that only you have had. Focus on the personal, and connect that to the values of your future profession. Do that and you will avoid writing the same essay as everyone else. Dr. Monica Taneja, MD and our admissions expert, shares her tip that got her accepted to the University of Maryland School of Medicine :

"I focused on my journey to medicine and opportunities that I sought out along the way. Everyone’s path and validation is unique, so walking the reader through your growth to the point of application will naturally be different, but that's what I wanted to share in my personal statement." - Dr. Monica Taneja, MD

#5 reflect on your theme.

Admissions committees don't want your medical school resumé in narrative form. All that stuff is already in the activities section of the application. This is where you should discuss interesting or important life events that shaped you and your interest in medicine (a service trip to rural Guatemala, a death in the family, a personal experience as a patient).

“The essay is not about what you have been through; it's about who it made you into.” – Dr. Vincent Adeyemi, MD

One suggestion is to have an overarching theme to your essay to tie everything together, starting with an intriguing personal anecdote. Alternatively, you can use one big metaphor or analogy through the essay.

Dr. Jaime Cazes, MD encourages you to be creative when it comes to the theme of your personal statement:

"It is very easy to make the 'cookie-cutter' personal statement. To a reviewer who is reading tens of these at a time it can become quite boring. What I did was [tell] a story. Like any good novel, the stories' first lines are meant to hook the reader. This can be about anything if you can bring it back and relate it to your application. It could be about the time your friend was smashed up against the boards in hockey and you, with your limited first aid experience helped to treat him. It is important that the story be REAL." - Dr. Jaime Cazes, MD, University of Toronto Faculty of Medicine

Your personal statement must be well-organized, showing a clear, logical progression, as well as connections between ideas. It is generally best to use a chronological progression since this mirrors your progression into a mature adult and gives you the opportunity to illustrate how you learned from early mistakes later on. Carry the theme throughout the statement to achieve continuity and cohesion. Use the theme to links ideas from each paragraph to the next and to unite your piece.

#1 Review Medical School Personal Statement Structure

Writing the first draft of your essay, it is important to keep an outline in mind: The essay should read like a chronological narrative and have good structure and flow. Just like any academic essay, it will need an introduction, body content, and a conclusion. 

Introduction

The introductory sentence of your essay will most certainly make or break your overall statement. Ensure that you have a creative and captivating opening sentence that draws the reader in. The kinds of things that inspire or motivate you can say a lot about who you are as a person.

“ Like any good novel, the stories' first lines are meant to hook the reader. This can be about anything if you can bring it back and relate it to your application. It could be about the time your friend was smashed up against the boards in hockey and you, with your limited first aid experience helped to treat him.” – Dr. Jaime Cazes, MD

That is a lot of work for a single paragraph to do. To better help you envision what this looks like in practice, here is a sample introduction that hits these main points.

I was convinced I was going to grow up to be a professional chef. This was not just another far-fetched idealistic childhood dream that many of us had growing up. There was a sense of certainty about this dream that motivated me to devote countless hours to its practice. It was mostly the wonder that it brought to others and the way they were left in awe after they tried a dish that I recall enjoying the most creating as a young chef. But, when I was 13, my grandfather was diagnosed with stage four lung cancer, and I realized that sometimes cooking is not enough, as I quickly learned about the vital role physicians play in the life of everyday people like my family and myself. Although my grandfather ended up passing away from his illness, the impact that the healthcare team had on him, my family, and I will always serve as the initial starting point of my fascination with the medical profession. Since that time, I have spent years learning more about the human sciences through my undergraduate studies and research, have developed a deeper understanding of the demands and challenges of the medical profession through my various volunteer and extra-curricular experiences, and although it has been difficult along the way, I have continued to forge a more intimate fascination with the medical field that has motivated me to apply to medical school at this juncture of my life. ","label":"Sample Introduction","title":"Sample Introduction"}]" code="tab3" template="BlogArticle">

Check out our video to learn how to create a killer introduction to your medical school personal statement:

In the body of your essay, you essentially want to elaborate on the ideas that you have introduced in your opening paragraph by drawing on your personal experiences to provide evidence.

Depending on the details, a selection of volunteer and extracurricular experiences might be discussed in more detail, in order to emphasize other traits like collaboration, teamwork, perseverance, or a sense of social responsibility – all key characteristics sought by medical schools. Just like an academic essay, you will devote one paragraph to each major point, explaining this in detail, supporting your claims with experiences from your life, and reflecting on the meaning of each plot point in your personal narrative, with reference to why you want to pursue a medical career.

The conclusion is just as important as the introduction. It is your last chance to express your medical aspirations. You want to impress the reader while also leaving them wanting more. In this case, more would mean getting an interview so they can learn more about who you are!

Your final statement should not be a simple summary of the things you have discussed. It should be insightful, captivating, and leave the reader with a lasting impression. Although you want to re-emphasize the major ideas of your essay, you should try to be creative and captivating, much like your opening paragraph. If you can link your opening idea to your last paragraph it will really tie the whole essay together.

#2 Show, Don't Tell

The narrative you construct should display some of your most tightly held values, principles, or ethical positions, along with key accomplishments and activities. If you see yourself as someone who is committed to community service, and you have a track record of such service, your story should feature this and provide insight into why you care about your community and what you learned from your experiences. Saying that you value community service when you've never volunteered a day in your life is pointless. Stating that your family is one where we support each other through challenge and loss (if this is indeed true), is excellent because it lays the groundwork for telling a story while showing that you are orientated towards close relationships. You would then go on to offer a brief anecdote that supports this. You are showing how you live such principles, rather than just telling your reader that you have such principles:

"Remember to use specific personal examples throughout your statement to make it more impactful and memorable for the readers. Often, painting a picture in the reader’s mind in the form of a story helps with this." - Dr. Neel Mistry, MD

A lot of students make the mistake of verbalizing their personal attributes with a bunch of adjectives, such as, "This experience taught me to be a self-reliant leader, with excellent communication skills, and empathy for others..." In reality, this does nothing to convey these qualities. It's a mistake to simply list your skills or characteristics without showing the reader an example of a time you used them to solve a problem. The person reading the essay may not believe you, as you've not really given them a way to see such values in your actions. It is better to construct a narrative to show the reader that you possess the traits that medical schools are looking for, rather than explicitly stating that you are an empathetic individual or capable of deep self-reflection.

While it may be tempting to write in a high academic tone, using terminology or jargon that is often complex or discipline-specific, requiring a specialized vocabulary for comprehension. You should actually aim to write for a non-specialist audience. Remember, in the world of medicine, describing a complex, clinical condition to a patient requires using specific but clear words. Use words that you believe most people understand. Read your personal statement back to a 14-year-old, and then again to someone for whom English is not their first language, to see if you're on the right path.

Ultimately, fancy words do not make you a good communicator; listening and ensuring reader comprehension makes you a good communicator. Show them your communication skills through clear, accessible prose, written with non-specialists in mind. A common refrain among writing instructors is: never use a $10 word where a $2 word will suffice.

#4 Display Professionalism

Professionalism may seem like a difficult quality to display when only composing a personal statement. After all, the reader can't see your mannerisms, your personal style, or any of those little qualities that allow someone to appear professional. Professionalism is about respect for the experience of others on your team or in your workplace. It is displayed when you are able to step back from your own individual position and think about what is best for your colleagues and peers, considering their needs alongside your own.

One easy way to destroy a sense of professionalism is to act in a judgmental way towards others, particularly if you perceived and ultimately resolved an error on someone else's part. Sometimes students blame another medical professional for something that went wrong with a patient.

They might say something to the effect of:

"The nurse kept brushing off the patient's concerns, refusing to ask the attending to increase her pain medications. Luckily, being the empathetic individual that I am, I took the time to listen to sit with the patient, eventually bringing her concerns to the attending physician, who thanked me for letting him know."

There are a couple of things wrong with this example. It seems like this person is putting down someone else in an attempt to make themselves look better. They come across as un-empathetic and judgmental of the nurse. Maybe she was having a busy day, or maybe the attending had just seen the patient for this issue and the patient didn't really need re-assessment. Reading this kind of account in a personal statement makes the reader question the maturity of the applicant and their ability to move past blaming others and resolve problems in a meaningful way. Instead of allocating blame, identify what the problem was for the patient and then focus on what you did to resolve it and reflect on what you learned from the whole experience.

One last note on professionalism: Being professional does not mean being overly stoic, hiding your emotions, or cultivating a bland personality. A lot of students are afraid to talk about how a situation made them feel in their personal statement. They worry that discussing feelings is inappropriate and will appear unprofessional. Unfortunately for these students, emotional intelligence is hugely important to the practice of medicine. Good doctors are able to quickly identify their own emotions and understand how their emotional reactions may inform their actions, and the ability to deliver appropriate care, in a given situation. So, when writing your personal statement, think about how each experience made you feel, and what you learned from those feelings and that experience.

Step 3: Write Your First Draft of Your Personal Statement

As you can see, there is a LOT of planning and consideration to be done before actually starting your first draft. Properly brainstorming, outlining, and considering the content and style of your essay prior to beginning the essay will make the writing process much smoother than it would be you to try to jump right to the draft-writing stage.

“I wrote scores of essays at my desk in those few weeks leading up to application submission. I needed it to be perfect. Do not let anyone tell you to settle. There was no moment when I had this shining light from the sky filtering into my room to motivate me. The ultimate trick is to keep writing. It is impossible to get that perfect essay on the first try, and you may not even get it on your fifteenth attempt, but the goal is to keep at it, keep making those edits, and never back down.” – Dr. Vincent Adeyemi, MD

As you're getting started, focus on getting content on the page, filling in your outline and getting your ideas arranged on the page. Your essay will go through multiple drafts and re-writes, so the first step is to free write and start articulating connections between your experiences and the characteristics you're highlighting. You can worry about flow, transitions, and perfect grammar in later drafts. 

#1 Did You Distinguish Yourself From Others?

Is your narrative unique? Our admissions expert Dr. Monica Taneja, MD, shares how she got the attention of the admissions committee with her personal statement:

"I found it helpful to give schools a 'punch-line'. As in I wanted them to remember 1-2 things about me that are my differentiators and I reiterated those throughout [the personal statement]." - Dr. Monica Taneja, MD

Use your narrative to provide a compelling picture of who you are as a person, as a learner, as an advocate, and as a future medical professional. What can you offer?

Remember, you will be getting a lot out of your med school experience, but the school will be getting a lot out of you, as well. This is a mutually beneficial relationship, so use this opportunity to highlight what you bring to the table, and what you will contribute as a student at their institution. Make them see you as a stand out from the crowd .

#2 Does My Essay Flow and is it Comprehensible?

Personal statements are a blessing and a curse for admission committees. They provide a better glimpse of who you are than MCAT scores or GPAs. But they are long and time-consuming to read. And often, they sound exactly alike.

Frankly, if your personal statement is pleasant to read, it will get read with more attention and appreciation. Flow is easier to craft through narrative, which is why you should root the statement in a story that demonstrates characteristics desirable to medical schools . You want this to be a statement that captures the reader's interest by creating a fluid, comprehensible piece that leads the reader to not only read each paragraph but want to continue to the next sentence.

#3 Did You Check Your Grammar?

It is always important to carefully edit your medical school personal statement . Read your statement out loud to yourself and you will almost certainly find an error (and likely several errors). Use fresh eyes to review the statement several times before you actually submit it, by walking away from it for a day or so and then re-reading it.

This step can make or break your essay. Do not waste all the effort you have put into writing, to only be discarded by the committee for using incorrect grammar and syntax.

#4 Did You Gather Feedback From Other People?

While the tips above are all very useful for writing a strong draft, nothing will benefit you more than getting an outside appraisal of your work. This may sound obvious, but it's still an absolute necessity.

“It was very helpful for two of my mentors to review my statements before submitting my application. Ensure you trust the judgement and skills of the person to whom you would be giving your personal statement for review.” – Dr. Vincent Adeyemi, MD

Avoid having people too close to you read your work. They may refrain from being too critical in an effort to spare your feelings. This is the time to get brutal, honest feedback. If you know someone who is an editor but do not feel that they can be objective, try and find someone else.

Want more examples? Check out our video below:

Common Mistakes to Avoid in Your Med School Personal Statement

Part of your essay's body can include a discussion of any discrepancies or gaps in your education, or disruptions in your academic performance. If you had to take time off, or if you had a term or course with low grades, or if you had any other extenuating circumstances that impacted your education, you can take time to address these here. You can approach this in your essay similarly to the question “what is your greatest weakness” that may get asked during interviews.

You will also be able to address weaknesses or setbacks in your AMCAS Statement of Disadvantage or your adversity secondary essay , so make sure there is not too much overlap between these and your personal statements.

Use your personal statement to emphasize your ability to persevere through whatever life has thrown your way. Most of all, if you feel like you have to explain yourself, take accountability for the situation. State that it is unfortunate and then redirect it to what you learned and how it will make you a better doctor. Always focus on being positive and do not lament on the negative situation too much.

Mistakes to Avoid in Medical School Personal Statements

Here are some mistakes that may raise a red flag in your personal statement:

Check out this video on the top 5 errors to avoid in your personal statement!

FAQs and Final Notes

This Ultimate Guide has demonstrated all the work that needs to be done to compose a successful, engaging personal statement for your medical school application. While it would be wonderful if there was an easy way to write your personal statement in a day, the reality is that this kind of composition takes a lot of work. As daunting as this may seem, this guide lays out a clear path. In summary, the following 5 steps are the basis of what you should take away from this guide. These 5 steps are your guide and sort of cheat sheet to writing your best personal statement.

5 Main Takeaways For Personal Statement Writing:

  • Brainstorming
  • Content and Theme
  • Multiple Drafts
  • Revision With Attention to Grammar

While a strong personal statement alone will not guarantee admission to medical school, it could absolutely squeeze you onto a  medical school waitlist , off the waitlist, and onto the offer list, or give someone on the admissions committee a reason to go to battle for your candidacy. Use this as an opportunity to highlight the incredible skills you've worked and studied to refine, the remarkable life experiences you've had, and the key qualities you possess in your own unique way. Show the admissions committee that you are someone they want to meet. Remember, in this context, wanting to meet you means wanting to bring you in for an interview!

Your personal statement should tell your story and highlight specific experiences or aspects of your journey that have led you to medicine. If your first exposure or interest in the medical field was sparked from your own medical struggles, then you can certainly include this in your statement.

All US medical schools require the completion of a personal statement with your AMCAS, TMDSAS or AACOMAS applications. Medical schools in Canada on the other hand, do not require personal statements but may have essay prompts that are similar in nature.

Think about whether or not that bad grade might reflect on you poorly. If you think it will, then it's best to address the academic misstep head-on instead of having admissions committees dwell on possible areas of concern. 

No! Students arrive to medicine in all sorts of ways, some change career paths later in life, some always knew they wanted to pursue medicine, and others slowly became interested in medicine through their life interactions and experiences. Your personal statement should address your own unique story. 

While your entire statement is important, the opening sentence can often make or break your statement. If your opening sentence is not eye-catching, interesting, and memorable, you risk your statement blending in with the large pile of other statements. 

Having your statement reviewed by family and friends can be a good place to start, but unfortunately they will often not be able to provide unbiased feedback and may not have the expertise necessary to understand nuance in statements.

If you have enough time set aside to write your statement without juggling multiple other commitments, it normally takes at least 6-8 weeks to write your statement. 

The goal is to show as many of them as you can in the WHOLE application: this includes your personal statement, sketch, reference letters, secondary essays, and even your GPA and MCAT (which show critical thinking and reasoning already). So, you don’t need to address them all in your essay.

Yes, you can. However, if you used an experience as a most meaningful entry, pick something else to talk about in your essay. 

The reality is, medical school admission is an extremely competitive process. In order to have the best chance of success, every part of your application must be stellar. 

The ones that honestly made the most impact on you. You'll need to reflect on your whole life and think about which experiences helped you grow and pushed you to pursue medicine. Ideally, experiences that show commitment and progression are better than one-off or short-term activities, as they usually contribute more to growth.

Dr. Lauren Prufer is an admissions expert at BeMo. Dr. Prufer is also a medical resident at McMaster University. Her medical degree is from the Schulich School of Medicine and Dentistry. During her time in medical school, she developed a passion for sharing her knowledge with others through medical writing, research, and peer mentoring.

To your success,

Your friends at BeMo

BeMo Academic Consulting

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I have been reading posts regarding this topic and this post is one of the most interesting and informative one I have read. Thank you for this!

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How to Write a Personal Statement Hook

Chris Bassil

Writing a residency application personal statement hook that will get your application noticed

If possible, the personal statement for your medical school or residency application should start with you, in your underwear and a gas mask, crashing an RV in the middle of the desert. Let me explain.

A single admissions committee (or, in the case of residency applications, a single residency program) may read hundreds or thousands of personal statements over the course of a single application cycle. That’s a lot of personal statements. To get through them all, reviewers can only dedicate mere minutes to reading each personal statement. If you want them to notice, pay attention to, and remember yours, you need to make it stand out. And part of the way that you do that is by grabbing their attention from the very first sentence. In writing, we call that a “hook.”

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Think back to some of the classic books you read in high school. Most of those stories started with excellent hooks–sentences which tease you, which titillate you, and which provide you with a small number of answers but with a much larger number of questions! Take, for example, the opening line of one of my favorite novels, Donna Tartt’s The Secret History. “The snow in the mountains was melting and Bunny had been dead for several weeks before we came to understand the gravity of our situation.” This is a masterful opening sentence: it presents just enough information to intrigue us as readers and plants a number of questions in our heads. Who is Bunny? How did Bunny die? Who are ‘we’? What is ‘the gravity of our situation’? Is it related to Bunny’s death? (It seems like it is…) And what the heck does any of that have to do with the fact that the snow in the mountains was melting? Those questions have hooked thousands of readers into reading on for another 629 pages not to find out if someone died–we already know that Bunny did–but to hear more about how Bunny died, and about what it meant for the narrator of the novel.

In fact, I actually opened this blog post with a hook of my own. Well, not really my own–it’s a description of the opening scene of AMC’s hit series Breaking Bad. But that opening scene, in which a practically naked, gas-masked Walter White speeds across the desert in an RV with three other unconscious passengers, was enough to hook millions of viewers and make the series a household name. Can you really do the same thing with your personal statement? And if so, how? Writing a good hook is hard, but below, I’ll provide a few pointers on how you can craft a compelling and effective hook for your application essays!

Keep It Short

The power of a hook is in its brevity.

How brief should the hook be? When I was in middle school, one of my English teachers taught us that our essays in general should follow what she called “the bikini rule”: although they should be long enough to cover everything, they should also be short enough to remain interesting. In my experience, the bikini rule works equally well for hooks. Let’s go back to the opening scene of Breaking Bad. This scene follows the bikini rule. First of all, it’s long enough to cover everything: it introduces us to our main characters, sets up Walt’s “fish-out-of-water” introduction to the world of drug-dealing, and, with its frantic and quite literally off-road energy, teases the sort of antics that will pervade the series. It’s also surprisingly short. The events leading up to the crash last just over one minute. This brings me to my next rule of thumb: your hook should take up about 1-2% of the word count (or character count) of your personal statement. So, for a 5,300-character AMCAS personal statement, the hook should take up roughly 50-100 characters. For the ERAS-based residency application, personal statements are roughly limited to one page. Because this works out to about 800 words, your hook should take up roughly eight to 16 of those words. These are somewhat tight limits and so it’s okay to exceed them by a little bit if you feel that you must. That being said, under absolutely no circumstances should your hook even approach 10% of your total word or character count. If that seems outlandish, just take another look at that Breaking Bad hook: as the first minute of a 60-minute long television episode, it falls directly within that 1-2% rule of thumb.

Keep Your Distance

Once you’ve dropped your hook, it’s time to back off. After all, you’ve just hit your reader with something shocking. You want it to sink in, to stay in their mind throughout your essay so that it continually motivates them to keep reading. If you keep hitting them with high-octane hooks, they won’t know what to focus on, they’ll forget the essay’s opening, and they’ll eventually give up. Imagine if every episode of Breaking Bad was 60 minutes of the RV scene–it would quickly become totally exhausting. So once you drop your powerful hook, back off and keep a little distance. How do you do this? One really effective approach is to think of your second paragraph as an “it all started when…” flashback. In Breaking Bad, for example, we move from the meth lab RV accident immediately into a scene which we are told takes place “three weeks earlier.” We watch as Walt wakes up in his safe, normal suburban home and trudges through a lazy workout on his stairmaster before having a breakfast of eggs and something called “veggie bacon.”

This scene is boring. (That’s the point–in order to appreciate where Walt ends up, we need to know where he started.) But now that we know the story is going somewhere exciting, we’re willing to hear about the mundane details. The opening of the second paragraph is a great chance to create the same opportunity in your personal statement. (By the way, did you notice that I used the same exact technique to open the second paragraph of this blog post?) Take the audience back to the beginning of your story and give them the background they’re going to need–now with the promise that all of this is going to help them understand that shocking hook with which you opened. And in the end, whether or not your hook keeps that promise can make or break your personal statement.

Keep Your Promise

Sometimes, students are reluctant to use hooks in their personal statements. (And it’s true that hooks aren’t for everyone–more on that below.) I’ve heard a lot of different reasons for this. It seems corny. I don’t think people will take my personal statement seriously. My personal story just doesn’t have an interesting hook. In my experience, all of these problems come down to the same thing: the hook that they wrote made a promise that their essay didn’t keep. What do I mean by that? Let’s take the idea that using a hook in a personal statement is corny, or contrived, or overly flashy. That usually feels true when a hook is over-promising. The big, bombastic hooks we see in The Secret History and Breaking Bad work because they follow up with big, bombastic stories–stories of murders and drug-dealing. They make promises that the rest of these works are able to keep. If The Secret History and Breaking Bad turned out to be relatively boring stories, however, these hooks would feel contrived, too. So if your hook feels hokey, you may be overdoing it! Your hook is not supposed to be the most interesting part of any story; it’s supposed to be the most interesting part of your story. (This is also why I tell students that every personal statement, no matter how unexciting they think it is, can have a hook!) I use a simple test to tell whether or not a hook is on the right track (and whether or not it over-promises). I call it the ‘grandpa test.’ It works like this: imagine that your personal statement, hook and all, is actually a story that your grandpa is telling at a family gathering. And how do grandpas start their stories? That’s right: “Have I ever told you about the time…? It all started when…”

Try to fit your hook into this format. If it more or less works, your hook is probably on the right track! Let’s look at a couple of our previous examples: Breaking Bad: “Have I ever told you about the time I crashed an RV in the middle of the desert while wearing only my underwear and a gas mask? It all started three weeks earlier, when…” The Secret History: “Have I ever told you about the time the snow was melting in the mountains and Bunny had been dead for weeks before we realized the gravity of our situation? It all started when I transferred schools…” If the hook and the flashback fit easily into this format, then chances are that they work well as written. Next–and this is the really important part–if that ‘grandpa’ story introduction ccurately sums up what your story is going to be about, then your hook is probably making a promise that your essay can keep. If, on the other hand, it feels more like a bait-and-switch–if a listener would be irritated at grandpa for misrepresenting what the story was going to be about, and how interesting it was going to be–then your hook is probably making a promise that your personal statement can’t keep. When you find yourself making and keeping these sorts of promises, you’re well on your way to a great, attention-grabbing personal statement!

Keep Writing and Re-Writing

So, you’re on your way. You’ve finally got your hook. It’s long enough to cover everything, short enough to stay interesting, and you back off after dropping it to give your reader time to breathe. Perhaps most importantly, it makes a promise that the rest of your personal statement manages to keep. But it still doesn’t feel like it’s all the way there. What gives? Writing a good hook can be notoriously difficult. In fact, most writers would probably agree that the first sentence of any piece–whether it’s a novel, a scientific article, or a personal statement–is usually the hardest one to write. (Stephen King once told The Atlantic that he spends months and even years working and re-working his hooks!) It’s perfectly normal to struggle with your hook, and to continually revise it as you craft your personal statement. On top of all that, there’s actually an advantage to keeping your hook open to change. As you fill out the rest of your personal statement, the way you want to tell your story is naturally going to change. Maybe you decide to leave out certain details in favor of others, or maybe you realize that the lesson you learned through your experiences isn’t quite what you thought it was.

Either way, a flexible draft of your hook can easily be altered to fit the changes in your evolving personal statement, whatever they may be. For these reasons, some writers actually force themselves to write the first sentence of their piece last! When you know exactly where the writing is going, the thinking goes, it becomes comparatively easy to set up a hook and make your promise accordingly. Don’t be afraid to move on and write the rest of your personal statement even as you are still revising your hook to perfection.

Writing is hard. (It’s an art, after all.) If there were a set of rules that worked for everyone, it would be a lot easier–but a lot less powerful, too. The things I’ve written about here shouldn’t be taken as the be-all, end-all of personal statement writing. Not all essays need to have hooks, and, in some cases, a bad hook is worse than no hook at all. And not all great hooks look like the ones I’ve outlined here. But over the years I have found these ideas useful to students who are struggling to open their personal statements with a bang.

For more advice on personal statements, check back here regularly!

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About the Author

Recieving his BA in English from Duke University in 2012, Christopher Bassil was matriculated in the Duke Medical Scientist Training Program in 2015. Achieving honors…

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Your chance of acceptance, your chancing factors, extracurriculars, need some personal statement hook ideas.

Hey, y'all! I'm writing my personal statement for college applications, but I'm stuck on finding a good hook. Does anyone have examples of some engaging hooks they used or saw in a successful personal statement? I could really use some inspiration!

Sure, I can help you with some hook examples! One key to an engaging hook is to start with a thought-provoking statement, vivid description, or intriguing contradiction that relates to your main essay topic. Here are some hooks based on different themes that you can consider:

1. Theme: Documenting family history through photography

Hook: "As my finger gently presses down on the shutter button, I realize I'm not just capturing an image; I'm preserving memories and family history on a single piece of paper."

2. Theme: Overcoming stage fright

Hook: "The stage lights blared down on me, my hands shook uncontrollably, and I couldn't breathe; in those terrifying first moments, I learned the true meaning of courage."

3. Theme: Love for astronomy and stargazing

Hook: "Lost in the vast ocean of velvet blackness, my heart skips a beat each time I catch a glimpse of a distant twinkle, as if Earth and the celestial bodies above are communicating with me."

4. Theme: Working at a homeless shelter

Hook: "The clattering of spoons, the murmur of hushed voices, and the faint smell of hope wrapped within the scent of a warm meal—I found a world where I could make a difference, even if only momentary."

5. Theme: Embracing one's own cultural roots

Hook: "For me, pulling on my traditional Bhutanese dress was like weaving threads of identity through the intricate tapestry of my life—an ode to the story of who I am."

Remember that your hook should be personalized and related to your own experiences. Take these examples as a starting point and adapt or create your own unique hook that reflects your essay's theme and your story. Good luck with your personal statement!

About CollegeVine’s Expert FAQ

CollegeVine’s Q&A seeks to offer informed perspectives on commonly asked admissions questions. Every answer is refined and validated by our team of admissions experts to ensure it resonates with trusted knowledge in the field.

How to Write a Hook: Start Off Your Essay Strong with This Guide

good personal statement hook

What is a Hook for an Essay: Importance and Purpose

Which section of your essay can make your readers dip their toes into your writing? Is it the body paragraphs where all the analysis is laid out? Or maybe the introduction, where you present your thesis statement and voice your perspective on the subject? Well, if you think it is the latter, then we must agree with your decision. However, let's get more specific; if we take the introductory paragraph to pieces, which piece gets the most recognition? You must have guessed from the article's title that we're talking about a hook. But first, let's define what is a hook for an essay before we walk you through the reasons why it deserves our pat on the back.

The hook is the initial sentence in a written work. Whether you're asking how to write a hook for a song, blog post, or term paper, know that the purpose of any effective hook is to seize the reader's attention. It can be one sentence long, often for shorter pieces, or composed of several lines - usually for larger pieces. Making the reader want to keep reading is what an essay hook accomplishes for your paper, just as an intriguing introduction does for any piece.

Our main emphasis in this guide is on creating a good hook for an essay. Nonetheless, these fundamental guidelines apply to nearly every format for communicating with your audience. Whether writing a personal statement, a speech, or a presentation, making a solid first impression is crucial to spur your readers into action.

How to Write a Hook for Different Kinds of Writing

Although it is a tough skill to master, understanding how to write a hook is crucial for academic writing success. By reviewing the most prevalent kinds of essay hooks, you can discover how to effectively captivate readers from the start and generate a hook that is ideal for your article. To do so, let's head over to the following sections prepared by our dissertation writers .

essay hooks

How to Write a Hook for a College Essay?

By mastering how to write a hook for a college essay, you have the opportunity to stand out from the hundreds of applicants with identical academic portfolios to yours in your college essay. It should shed light on who you are, represent your true nature, and show your individuality. But first, you need an attention-grabbing start if you want the admissions committee to read more of yours than theirs. For this, you'll require a strong hook.

Set the Scene

When wondering how to write a good hook for an essay, consider setting the scene. Open in the middle of a key moment, plunge in with vivid details and conversation to keep your essay flowing and attract the reader. Make the reader feel like they are seeing a moment from your life and have just tuned in.

Open with an Example

Starting with a specific example is also a great idea if you're explaining how you acquired a particular skill or unique accomplishment. Then, similar to how you established the scenario above, you may return to this point later and discuss its significance throughout the remaining sections.

Open with an Anecdote

Using an anecdotal hook doesn't necessarily mean that your essay should also be humorous. The joke should be short and well-aimed to achieve the best results. To assist the reader in visualizing the situation and understanding what you are up against when tackling a task or overcoming a challenge, you might also use a funny irony. And if this sounds too overwhelming to compose, buy an essay on our platform and let our expert writers convey your unmatched story!

How to Write a Hook for an Argumentative Essay?

If you write a strong hook, your instructor will be compelled to read your argument in the following paragraphs. So, put your creative thinking cap on while crafting the hook, and write in a way that entices readers to continue reading the essay.

Use Statistics

Statistics serve as a useful hook because they encourage research. When used in argumentative writing, statistics can introduce readers to previously undiscovered details and data. That can greatly increase their desire to read your article from start to finish. You can also consider this advice when unsure how to write a good hook for a research paper. Especially if you're conducting a quantitative study, a statistic hook can be a solid start.

Use a Common Misconception

Another answer to your 'how to write a hook for an argumentative essay' question is to use a common misconception. What could be a better way to construct an interesting hook, which should grab readers' attention, than to incorporate a widely held misconception? A widespread false belief is one that many people hold to be true. When you create a hook with a misinterpretation, you startle your readers and immediately capture their interest.

How to Write a Hook for a Persuasive Essay?

The finest hooks for a persuasive essay capture the reader's interest while leading them to almost unconsciously support your position even before they are aware of it. You can accomplish this by employing the following hook ideas for an essay:

Ask a Rhetorical Question

By posing a query at the outset of your essay, you may engage the reader's critical thinking and whet their appetite for the solution you won't provide until later. Try to formulate a question wide enough for them to not immediately know the answer and detailed enough to avoid becoming a generic hook.

Use an Emotional Appeal

This is a fantastic approach to arouse sympathy and draw the reader into your cause. By appealing to the reader's emotions, you may establish a bond that encourages them to read more and get invested in the subject you cover.

Using these strategies, you won't have to wonder how to write a hook for a persuasive essay anymore!

How to Write a Hook for a Literary Analysis Essay?

Finding strong essay openers might be particularly challenging when writing a literary analysis. Coming up with something very remarkable on your own while writing about someone else's work is no easy feat. But we have some expert solutions below:

Use Literary Quotes

Using a literary quote sounds like the best option when unsure how to write a hook for a literary analysis essay. Nonetheless, its use is not restricted to that and is mostly determined by the style and meaning of the quotes. Still, when employing literary quotes, it's crucial to show two things at once: first, how well you understand the textual information. And second, you know how to capture the reader's interest right away.

Employ Quotes from Famous People

This is another style of hook that is frequently employed in literary analysis. But if you wonder how to write a good essay hook without sounding boring, choose a historical person with notable accomplishments and keep your readers intrigued and inspired to read more.

How to Write a Hook for an Informative Essay?

In an informative essay, your ultimate goal is to not only educate your audience but also engage and keep them interested from the very beginning. For this, consider the following:

Start with a Fact or Definition

You might begin your essay with an interesting fact or by giving a definition related to your subject. The same standard applies here for most types mentioned above: it must be intriguing, surprising, and/or alarming.

Ask Questions that Relate to Your Topic

Another solution to 'How to write a hook for an informative essay?' is to introduce your essay with a relevant question. This hook lets you pique a reader's interest in your essay and urge them to keep reading as they ponder the answer.

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Expert-Approved Tips for Writing an Essay Hook

Are you still struggling with the ideal opening sentence for your essay? Check out some advice from our essay helper on how to write a hook sentence and make your opening stand out.

good essay hook

  • Keep your essay type in mind . Remember to keep your hook relevant. An effective hook for an argumentative or descriptive essay format will differ greatly. Therefore, the relevancy of the hook might be even more important than the content it conveys.
  • Decide on the purpose of your hook . When unsure how to write a hook for an essay, try asking the following questions: What result are you hoping to get from it? Would you like your readers to be curious? Or, even better, surprised? Perhaps even somewhat caught off guard? Determine the effect you wish to accomplish before selecting a hook.
  • Choose a hook at the end of the writing process. Even though it should be the first sentence of your paper, it doesn't mean you should write your hook first. Writing an essay is a long and creative process. So, if you can't think of an effective hook at the beginning, just keep writing according to your plan, and it will eventually come into your head. If you were lucky enough to concoct your hook immediately, double-check your writing to see if it still fits into the whole text and its style once you've finished writing.
  • Make it short . The shorter, the better – this rule works for essay hooks. Keeping your hook to a minimum size will ensure that readers will read it at the same moment they start looking at your essay. Even before thinking if they want or don't want to read it, their attention will be captured, and their curiosity will get the best of them. So, they will continue reading the entire text to discover as much as possible.

Now you know how to write a good hook and understand that a solid hook is the difference between someone delving further into your work or abandoning it immediately. With our hook examples for an essay, you can do more than just write a great paper. We do not doubt that you can even write a winning term paper example right away!

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What Is A Good Hook For An Essay?

How to write a hook for an essay, what is a good hook for an argumentative essay.

Adam Jason

is an expert in nursing and healthcare, with a strong background in history, law, and literature. Holding advanced degrees in nursing and public health, his analytical approach and comprehensive knowledge help students navigate complex topics. On EssayPro blog, Adam provides insightful articles on everything from historical analysis to the intricacies of healthcare policies. In his downtime, he enjoys historical documentaries and volunteering at local clinics.

good personal statement hook

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  1. What Is A Hook Statement

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  2. 😱 Examples of how to start a personal statement. 9 Civil Service Personal Statement Examples

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  3. UCAS Personal Statement Sample in 2021

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  4. Sample Hook Statements

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  5. 10+ Good Personal Statement Examples & Writing Tips

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  6. Expert’s Guide on How to Write a Personal Statement

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COMMENTS

  1. Personal Statement Hooks That Don't Suck

    3. Great Personal Statement Hooks are Morally Ambiguous. Again, let's take a bad example and make it better by applying the morally ambiguous style. Cliche Hook Example: Ever since doctors cured my grandfather's cancer, I have wanted to pay forward that same service to other patients and their families.

  2. How to Write a Personal Statement

    Insert a quote from a well-known person. Challenge the reader with a common misconception. Use an anecdote, which is a short story that can be true or imaginary. Credibility is crucial when writing a personal statement as part of your college application process. If you choose a statistic, quote, or misconception for your hook, make sure it ...

  3. 12 Outstanding Personal Statement Examples + Why They Work 2024

    12 Outstanding Personal Statement Examples ...

  4. How to Get the Perfect Hook for Your College Essay

    5. Just Start Writing. Sometimes the hook of your college essay isn't clear. Rather than getting hung up, start developing your essay and see if it adds clarity as to how to best implement a hook. Some students even find that it's easiest to write a hook last, after writing the body of the personal statement.

  5. Medical School Personal Statement Hooks (13 Examples)

    Examples #7 and #8: Narrative Vs Direct Hooks. I made my way to Hillary's house after hearing about her alcoholic father's incarceration. Seeing her tearfulness and at a loss for words, I took her hand and held it, hoping to make things more bearable. She squeezed back gently in reply, "thank you.".

  6. How to Write a Strong Essay Hook, With Examples

    4 Anecdote. Anecdotes are often used as hooks in personal essays. A personal story makes the essay relatable, creating familiarity with the reader that makes them want to read more. An example of an anecdote hook is a persuasive essay about rerouting traffic on campus that starts with a personal story of a vehicular close call.

  7. How to Write a Hook for an Essay

    Example of a hook for a personal statement. It's easier said than done, but a good hook for a personal statement helps to establish tone and focus or even what kind of person you are while setting up the rest of the statement. For instance, let's say I am writing a statement for a university application and the prompt asks the writer to ...

  8. How to Write a Killer Hook for Your Personal Statement

    The opening line, or sometimes the whole opening paragraph, is often referred to as "the hook" because of its need to grab and pull the reader in. Sometimes the process of writing a hook will stymie students for weeks as they wallow in writer's block. Reversely, once they have their hook, the rest of the essay sometimes writes itself.

  9. How to Write a Personal Statement (Tips + Essay Examples)

    In a great personal statement, we should be able to get a sense of what fulfills, motivates, or excites the author. These can be things like humor, beauty, community, and autonomy, just to name a few. So when you read back through your essay, you should be able to detect at least 4-5 different values throughout.

  10. How to Write a Good Hook: A Step-by-Step Guide

    Personal Statements: Hooks That Tell Your Story. Crafting a good hook for your personal statement is about more than just grabbing attention; it's about making an authentic and emotional connection with the reader from the very first line. Your personal statement is a unique opportunity to share your story, your aspirations, and what makes you ...

  11. Personal statement hooks

    Hey! Great to see you're working on your personal statement. Hooks are essential to capture the reader's attention and set the tone for your essay. Remember, admissions officers read thousands of applications, so make sure your hook stands out. Here are a few suggestions to get the creative juices flowing: 1. Start with an engaging anecdote: A personal story can quickly draw your reader in and ...

  12. 3 Foolproof Ways to Make Your Personal Statement Memorable

    Writing is a process, and most personal statements take three or four revisions. Sometimes your hook won't even reveal itself until you've warmed up and word-vomited a few paragraphs. Your hook doesn't need to be all-encompassing (which is impossible anyway). As we'll see, most good hooks rely on their specificity and narrowed scope. 2.

  13. Personal Statement Examples

    The classic personal statement format begins with a hook to draw the reader into a story, and this is no different. This personal statement introduction, "My life is as simple as a Rubik's cube", is bold, even seemingly contradictory, until you read the rest of the sentence. ... Good personal statement examples explore subjects that other ...

  14. How to Write a Personal Statement

    A hook is a sentence or two at the beginning of your personal statement that compels the reader to continue reading. No matter the hook you use, it should always relate to the general topic of your essay. To create a captivating hook, try one of these methods: Ask a question. Provide an interesting statistic. Insert a quote from a well-known ...

  15. How to Write a Personal Statement (with Tips and Examples)

    How to Write a Personal Statement (with Tips and ...

  16. How to Write a Killer Personal Statement Hook for Medical School

    2. Great Personal Statement Hooks are Contrarian. To illustrate this idea, we can simply look at a particularly cliche hook and use the contrarian style to make it better. Cliche Hook Example: Even as a child, I had medical aspirations. I remember using my toy stethoscope on my three younger siblings as we 'played doctor.'

  17. Writing a Hook for Your Personal Statement for Medical School

    Writing a Hook for Your Personal Statement for Medical School. It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen. —George Orwell, 1984 (1949) You better not never tell nobody but God. —Alice Walker, The Color Purple (1982) It was a pleasure to burn. —Ray Bradbury, Fahrenheit 451 (1953) Some of the best books ever ...

  18. What are some good hooks I could use for my personal essay?

    There are several types of hooks that can make an opening of your personal essay engaging and captivating to readers. Here are a few examples of different hooks you can use: 1. Anecdote: Begin with a short, interesting story that relates to your essay's main theme. For example, "The moment I stood on that stage and heard the thunderous applause echoing through the auditorium, I knew I had ...

  19. 2024 Medical School Personal Statement Ultimate Guide (220+ Examples)

    Part 1: Introduction to the medical school personal statement. You probably know someone who achieved a solid GPA and MCAT score, conducted research, shadowed physicians, engaged in meaningful volunteer work, and met all the other medical school requirements, yet still got rejected by every school they applied to.. You may have even heard of someone who was rejected by over 30 medical schools ...

  20. Medical School Personal Statement Examples That Got 6 Acceptances

    Medical School Personal Statement Examples That Got 6 ...

  21. Personal Statement Hook for Residency Appliction

    So, for a 5,300-character AMCAS personal statement, the hook should take up roughly 50-100 characters. For the ERAS-based residency application, personal statements are roughly limited to one page. Because this works out to about 800 words, your hook should take up roughly eight to 16 of those words. These are somewhat tight limits and so it ...

  22. Need some personal statement hook ideas!

    One key to an engaging hook is to start with a thought-provoking statement, vivid description, or intriguing contradiction that relates to your main essay topic. Here are some hooks based on different themes that you can consider: 1. Theme: Documenting family history through photography. Hook: "As my finger gently presses down on the shutter ...

  23. How to Write a Hook for an Essay: Guide, Tips, and Examples

    Determine the effect you wish to accomplish before selecting a hook. Choose a hook at the end of the writing process. Even though it should be the first sentence of your paper, it doesn't mean you should write your hook first. Writing an essay is a long and creative process. So, if you can't think of an effective hook at the beginning, just ...